ethan

he liked the 'floating noggin' pic the best.

that boy. he posed up last night and said, 'mom, get your camera, take my picture!'
so i did.

I GOT PAID!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
finally. the system decided that i was perhaps worthy of a little compensation. whew. i am so broke, and to receive this check made me feel so good. i can make that car payment and stuff. just wanted to share something happy for a change.
peace and love.

she called

the lady from ft. bragg's early intervention at the hospital called. i went to see her friday. i spent close to 3 hours at the hospital, Womack Army Medical Center. It was awesome. Now, I must figure out how to do this. I want this job. I need to figure out how to deal with ethan being in kindergarten and working thirty minutes away. i'm looking at private schools in the area. maybe he can go to school closer to me. if i get the job. i'm so excited. so many things to think about.
maybe i'll join the army. basic training would be the best therapy i'll bet. get my ass kicked so i know how good i have it. hee hee.

SpaceDober

What a sense of humor. She loves making us laugh.
Check out that lip. It's my dog being a sexy space dog. She said, 'cha cha cha.'
Dober, the space dog. Doesn't she look perfectly comfy?
This 'hat' is part of a spaceshuttle costume that Ethan has, and often I apply things to my dog just so i can giggle till it hurts. She is so expressive, and she really does a great job humoring me.
Thanks DoberDog. I mean, Captain DoberDog.

it was good

to get back to work. up at 6. made it to my first appointment on time. that feels so
good. deciding that i don't like providing services in a houseful of kids. saggy diapers, screamin
babies, DIRTY FEET. well, i guess the dirty feet thing is ok, if they WASH eventually.
caught up on paperwork, hoping that the lady from Bragg calls.
patience. that's what i determined in a dream last week. thursday i had a dream that i delivered a baby. friday night i had a dream that i was analyzing thursdays dream and that if i dreamt of delivering a baby, then i needed to practice patience. was cool to think of a previous night's dream in a dream.

watched Snow Dogs on disney. this was a great movie, ethan and i watched it togther tonight. i managed to cry. sheesh. pretty feel good movie, cuba gooding jr was the star. he was funny.

do i have some decaf? or tea. hmm. want something warm, despite the 100 temps here today.

peace.

up and down and sideways and more!

so many moods in one day can be hazardous. ended up drinking a double shot espresso thing that starbucks makes. it helped for a while. then i funked out again. why is it that when i consciously try to stop beating myself up i seem to do it more and harder? when people think i'm doing well is when i hide this about myself, but when i express what's going on in my head all of a sudden i'm depressed or not happy or something. it's true. when i keep my thoughts to myself, i do better. when i talk about them or vent or something, they are more real all of a sudden and more poisonous. then i read this post and think i am absolutely ridiculous. who wants to be around that? i don't even want to be around that. now i want to scream.
waaaaaaaaah.
better. thanks.

the company that handles contracts for Ft. Bragg's early intervention hasn't called me back. i suppose that has added to my feelings of unworthiness. i was so excited about making the decision to check out that possibility. maybe the lady is on vacation. maybe she will call tomorrow.

the caffeine is wearing off and i need to prepare therapy for my kiddos tomorrow.

i hope i get paid soon. being broke sucks. especially when i've been working.

peace and love.

two-wheelin it

my boy. he can ride his bike without training wheels. aww. didn't grab the camera. will another time. he's so cute on his bike, not always using those brakes, you know, the kind where you 'back pedal' to stop. no, he often just extends his legs down and toe stops. which is adorable yet uncomfortable looking. nevertheless, he stops. despite coaching from mom, he looks at me with those eyes that tell me that he will get it in his time, and that i will be ok.

peace.

friday's feast

Appetizer
What kind of car do you drive?
If you could make an even trade for any
other car, what would you want to drive?
I drive a yellow 2000 Jeep Wrangler. I love her. Even trade would be for the same thing all jacked up.

Soup
Take your phone number and add each number together separately (example: 8+6+7+5+3+0+9=38) - what's the total?
house, 31
cell, 27
with area code, 50 and 46.

Salad
When were you last outside, and what were you doing?
about an hour ago, hobbling into the house from my jeep, trying not to bleed all over...

Main Course
What is your favorite restaurant, and what do you usually order there?
I will always love Michaels, in Niagara Falls. Usually, I get a salad with the curly mozzarella and house dressing, a bowl of beans and greens, and chicken parmesan with homemade macaroni. yums.

Dessert
Name 3 things in which you occasionally indulge.
my first inclination was to write, making love, massages, and souldancing, but i thought that perhaps that's not what the question was getting at. so i will add:
pedicures, a cleaning person, and expensive makeup.

Friday's Feast

friday far from bland

it all started when i jumped out of bed, knowing that the bug man was coming (because of Nathanial, the nice rep that stopped by my house wednesday evening, telling of the recent 'surge' of calls in my area, and prevention is easier than cure....gobble gobble gobble.....)
at 9:30, well, that's what we made the appointment for....so, i shower quickly and get all the trash and recycling ready, because i didn't do it yesterday as i was still on the mend from this cold i succumbed to....so i leave the house with wet hair and ethan helps me get the newspapers into the jeep. i stick an old table in and then trip over nothing and cut the back of my foot on glass which was in a bag for recycling. ok, cut is not the word, gash is more like it. small but effective in the bleeding department. about the size of a good sunflower seed, in the shell, with about the same depth. read, bloody mess. ok, into the house i drip, tape it up with some gauze. go to take trash. good. home. not too bloody.

get messages, of course, because i left the house for 15 minutes and didn't take cellphone or purse. duh. (and i was wearing little shorty shorts and a little shirty shirt and of COURSE someone actually approches me about my sign on my jeep indicating my services for autism, i mean, come on. the day i jet out with wet hair, sans business cards, looking slightly teen, someone actually talks to me about business. sheeeesh!!! )

sooooooo, the message was that dude was not going to come until noon. damn. still bloody. vacuum and do kitchen floors. good. he comes, he's odd, he leaves. still bleeding, more now because i actually tried to change the dressing, and the good coagulater that i am, i invited the gauze to stick into my flesh. OUch! took care of that again, elevated the foot. the cut is on the back bottom of my leg, you can see it if i'm standing flat, it's about an inch up from my heel.

i foolishly decide to have a beer and give myself a pedicure. soak feet, file toes, oops, i'm fricking bleeding again. finish beer, (i know it's a blood thinner....but i'm stupid ya see?) get another, lay down and elevate foot again. toes look pretty.

on to the road to Southern Pines to take the boy to Friday Fun Gym, a nice treat from the Sandhills Academy of Gymnastics, they open their gym to the public Friday nights and supervise kids as they try out gymnastics, rock climbing, and foam-pit jumping. well, gotta eat first, chinese buffet, not great for me. ooh, track back, on the way to SoPines....traffic in the northbound lanes is blocked for a mile or two because lightning struck a tree and it totally blocked both lanes. nobody hurt as far as i could see. hmmmm...after chinese, go to eckerd to buy more gauze as i am still bleeding....and crash, crack, flash, boom. lotsa lightning and thunder, and ethan's with his dad in the bathroom, power is out. luckily i purchased my gauze. ha. now they lock the doors because the power is out, and man was that storm intense. major lightning and loud ass thunder, a good storm. changed the boo boo gauze and bled thru that in 5 minutes.
no Fun Gym tonight, but ethan was ok with it. sweet.
finally got back in the jeep, wrapped it up tight and so far haven't bled through it. it's 9:15pm and i wrapped it at least an hour and a half ago. so no more poking or jumping or walking on it and i hope it will be fine. it hurts.

dare i get into the psycho-philosophical meanderings my mind has taken today? nah. i'll spare ya.
i will grab the feast though. fun!!!

thanks BCJ......this was awfully cute

You're Canada!

People make fun of you a lot, but they're stupid because you've
got a much better life than they do. In fact, they're probably just jealous.
You believe in crazy things like human rights and health care and not
dying in the streets, and you end up securing these rights for yourself and
others. If it weren't for your weird affection for ice hockey, you'd be
the perfect person.
Take
the Country Quiz at the Blue Pyramid

funny little bit here, treally. and, uh, i, uh, do not have any affection for ice hockey. just so ya know.

my creative little boy

ethan's lovely snack, it's a flower.

He raided my fridge, smeared cinnamon applesauce on a plate, carefully arranged carrot slices on the edge, and gently centered a strawberry. What a sweetie. He just told me that if i ever want that snack ever again, i can have it. Lovely.
And yes, he did make it to the bathroom on time. Grabby!
more later.....

a little hello

what a lovely trip home. i was pretty hormonal the entire time, unfortunately. compound this with what i call 'gravity of thought' of the niagara falls region, and it makes yours truly some pretty shabby company. niagara falls has so much potential, but widespread apathy and considerable 'that's just the way it is' mindsets nearly blocks all attempts for renewal. the seneca nation has taken matters into it's own hands and built a casino and now a luxury hotel on the US side of Niagara. slight progress is evident despite the criticism of profiting off of gambling and drinking and contributing to social problems...and the fact that the casino cash isn't in the right hands in the niagara falls local government....yet. i might be wrong, in fact, i likely am. anyhoo.

considering major change in work again. same profession, different location possibly. will likely interview at ft. bragg for a slp job with the 0-3 population that i love so much.
depends on the flexibility of hours and ethan's school and stuff. i'm excited about it, very interested in that population. maybe it will be a match.

that was spawned by the two notices i got in the mail about the vacancy. that and denials from medicaid which was a result of my provider number being inactive. they activated it right away and i resubmitted claims, but oh yes, i was a little upset considering that i didn't have any communication that my number was inactive. when i made my calls and had billing training to start this whole process, i asked if i was good to go and indeed i was. NOT. oh well. so be it. things will work out as they always do. so i got my hair done, highlights and a little chop. feel better.

had a pretty bad cold yesterday and today i'm riding the rest of it out, had been fighting it for weeks, so finally i just let myself get the daggon thing. that had something to do with my sluggishness in NF. i couldn't get it together there. was tired all the time and downright blah.

time to nap. snuggle with my boy.

my dog

she is a knowing little girl. she is staring at me as if to tell me that she will miss me. i'm going to NY with Ethan. YAY! Home!
i will miss my pup.

friday's feast!

Appetizer
Where do you plan to go on vacation this year, or where would you want to go?
My son and I are going to niagara falls on july 6th, returning to NC on the 16th.
Soup
What color is your bedroom? If you could redecorate it, what would you change?
Walls are latte, furniture / embellishments in pier one's old rio grande collection, and deep red / burgundy tapestry and down comforter, latte sheets/bedskirt, latte and cream textured panels. Redecorating? Ooooh, fun. would likely change wall color to something a touch darker, and add a jacuzzi.
Salad
Do you have a bumper sticker on your vehicle? What does it say?
oh one of my hobbies. i have a few bumper stickers.
-grow slow
-listen to children
-eternal now (with the infinity symbol)
-not fooled by the media
-not fooled by the government
-a happy face
and my personal fave,
-talk nerdy to me
hee hee hee.
Main Course
What's the worst pain you've ever been in?
physical? post-sinus surgery/tattoo/birthing
emotional?moving to NC on a whim, getting so overwhelmed with the abominable task of never appearing overwhelmed, and enduring new allergies and steroids and weight gain and eventually surgey....all without any blood relatives. that and being married and not wanting to be married.
Dessert
Who is your favorite celebrity? What do they do that inspires you?
i can't think. oh, maybe hugh grant, he makes me laugh, just looking at him makes me laugh. i also like, ummm, drawing a blank here. i so don't follow hollywood. if i think of anyone, i'll be sure to post.

Friday's Feast Rocks!