goals

so since only one person reads this, or that is my belief...i suppose i will happily address a few things.
clothing on dogs makes me laugh very hard. i am looking for things to laugh about, and my dog is more than happy to let me use her for joy. and those were maggie's jammies, bought so she could sleep with me without twelve pounds of fur shed, but since the belly is open on the jammies, she shed anyways...so i put her in a tee shirt of mine which she liked...(maggie...)
i'm almost afraid to write about what is really going on in my head, for fear of a phone call to commit me to some floor of a hospital-hee hee hee......but my goals for summer should distract me enough from those evil thoughts....
*chill with my son
*more yoga
*better nutrition
*ride the bike daily
*learn spanish
*go to spanish speaking country..or my favorite restaurant...sanfelipe here in sanford.
*watch funny movies
*read some books

am i missing anything? yes. definately. so i'll write more after the shower and bikeride.
xoxoxo

by the way

has anyone noticed, we are no longer................'feasters.' YAY!
have i influenced something larger than myself? have i? did i have anything to
do with it? dare i imagine? wow. i have smiled today.
so much to say, so many things on my mind, i can't seem to get them out. so here is a pic of my dog in pajamas.
check out that belly.

posing so nicely 

i'm never on time for friday.....i like to prolong gratification

Appetizer
What job would you definitely not want to have?
truffle harvester, standardized test developer,
Soup
Oprah calls and wants you to appear on her show. What would that day's show be about?
autism and ways to cope/heal/grow
Salad
Name 3 vegetables that you eat on a regular basis.
asparagus, Brussels sprouts, zucchini
Main Course
If you were commissioned to rename your hometown, what would you call it?
Niagara Flaws hee hee hee....no, maybe Mariposa....i have always loved that word and it's translation....although if my hometown was called Mariposa, it is definately stuck in a phase.....hopefully chrysalis
Dessert
If you had a personal assistant, what kind of tasks would you have them to do?
chores. housework, inside and out. and of course, constant assessment of the quality of completion of said tasks. he must be smart mechanically, i need some serious jeep mods as well

ummmm...ok.

Your Extroversion Profile:

Activity Level: Very High

Assertiveness: Very High

Cheerfulness: Very High

Excitement Seeking: Very High

Friendliness: Very High

Sociability: Medium

How Extroverted Are You?

Last day of school!

Well, for the kiddos anyways. It is a half day, meaning the kids leave at noon, which means that the kids come to school to eat lunch and be fussed at to hurry up so they can leave. I hope it's not that bad. I unexpectedly grew attached to my school a few weeks ago. I plan on another year there. I have been trying to coordinate/collaborate to initiate a new program in my county dealing with kids with autism and handling their services, which can be pretty intense, but the budget this year won't allow. Maybe next year. I've talked to higher ups and it is a fact that the new high school needs to be set up first. I don't think budget is an issue, i really don't expect that much of a raise. I'd take comp time in trade and keep my current salary. Anyways, have a wonderful day and with all my summer time off, i'm sure i'll blog my head off.
peace

late feast again

Appetizer
Approximately how many hours per day do you spend watching television?
less than 1 on the average day.
Soup
Which colors decorate your kitchen?
all of them. green counters, white cabinets, taupe walls, purple grapes on lots of the little kitcheny things around....dark red tapestry kitchen chairs, brown wood table, green bakers rack, dark red/yellow/indigo throw rug, etc....
Salad
Name 2 brand names you buy on a regular basis, and what do you like about them?
Lancome makeup. The color matches my skin and doesn't make me break out.
Silk Soymilk. Ethan and I like the tastes and varieties.
Main Course
What is your biggest fear?
being without my love, Ethan.
either failure or success. maybe just the unknown? disappointing others? hmmm. toughie. lets just go with that fabric that basketball jerseys are made of, that mesh stuff. hee hee.
Dessert
If you could wake up tomorrow and find yourself in another location, where would you want to be?
in the arms of my true love, in some nature.
Bonus Birthday QuestionWhat's your favorite flavor of birthday cake?
I like the one my mom made me, it has chocolate pudding and bananas in it, not sure if it's vanilla or white cake. But it rocks.

quotes

so i bought a nice rubber stamp to stamp on my postcard invites that i'm sending to doctor's offices in town to announce the opening of my practice.....and the quote is:
" We cannot direct the wind, but we can adjust our sails." I thought it was quite fitting considering the work i do. or try to do anyhoo. dark purple ink. A.C. Moore had a moonlight maddness sale, everything regular price was 25% off, yes i actually went to fayetteville for this event, considering the amount of jewelry making stuff i still wish to acquire. i only spent 40 bucks, and 6 of that was the stamp. the rest was beads, stuff, paper.....pretties.
while reading goodnighty stories to my son, i often use different voices and accents. last night, he confided that he likes my mommy voice best. i melted.
i liked getting my pedicure yesterday, it was much fun. much nicer than having legs waxed, as was the original plan. didn't feel the mood for pain much yesterday, as it's been a rough week or so. even had a brewski today.
cheers!

some stuff i've made. a new addiction!

and there ya go.
onward... a late feast......
Appetizer
Whose intelligence do you find intimidating?
Luke's.

Soup
Name something you've done that surprised yourself.
do i really gotta answer that? well, ok then. um, moved to NC, had a child,
among others...oh, not so deep? well then. got my eyebrows waxed. i really don't have
a lot of eyebrow fuzz.

Salad
List 3 people whom you have only "met" online, but consider good friends.
does not apply.

Main Course
Where is the dirtiest place you've ever been?
Kelly's in Geneseo, a 'club' in Canada

Dessert
What is the best example of "perfection" that you can think of?
time well spent


AND.............so on.... yep, finally figured out the pics thing. kinda pissed at myself as it only took like 3 minutes. so be it.
peace....

thought it was cute 

every last blog

well folks, i've done it. i've read every last friggen blog out there, and i must say, that i am no more educated now than i was yesterday. just kidding. i'm much smarter. no, kidding again. i have not, repeat, have NOT, read every last blog. i tried, in abc order, but couldn't make it past c. so many blogs out there as well. my eyes hurt. my contacts are dry. my computer spawned a new MS dialogue box requesting a courtesy shut down, you know, for energy reasons...hee hee.

i've had this brainless idea to start more blogs, nice little anonymous ones. just to see how crazy i can get and how much attention it might generate. being in my field, i just can't go wild and crazy, it might be held against me in a court of law someday, or it might prevent me from holding political office...i guess i do like attention, only when i want it. pathetic little thing i am.

so many ideas today, so much done in the house. yesterday the carpet guys came and my carpet is clean. took the top down on my jeep, happy girl now. went to a birthday party yesterday for a 3 year old girl. fun fun. touched a newborn, lovely. ate at carrabas, superb dining and fab service...and the best ceaser salad. went to a.c. moore, bought more beads, addicting little time waster....made a bracelet for my friend...(I did try to post the pic right here, but it wouldn't work. must work smarter. sorry.) UPDATE...i did get it to work, but the image size is a bit large. will work on that later. but yay me! finally!


went to mall, returned lands end stuff at sears, bought lotsa stuff on sale at ann taylor loft, holy cow, their stuff fits me. i was amazed. went to barnes and noble, had to leave too soon, as a matter of fact, i'd like to be dropped off early in the morning and picked up late at night. i could just do little julee things. that is a thing to do. maybe next saturday. if i do, i won't wear contacts.
today i rearranged the dog room/office/spare bedroom. took down the kennel because doberdog isn't going to require kenneling. she had a few trial days of being out in the living room. she passed. no accidents, chewing, or messes. she's always been good about that stuff. mags wasn't so hot with that stuff. *sob* *sniffle* *smile* so the room has more space available. good. happy. also rearranged the living room since the carpet guys were here. the couch faces the windows to the street now, and the tv is in that corner, for all of you who know my living room.
i am so starved. for love and affection. i am missing that part of life so much.
peace.

what a day

ranting. venting. whatever the heck you call it. i knew it was going to be a day. meetings already scheduled at 8 and 3. potentially volatile meetings at that. well, the morning mom didn't show up. fine. we handled the paperwork, i'm going to test an ADHD kid, blah blah there. well, i had a surprise meeting for a kid that really needs a Dr. Phil kick in the ass along with his mum. oh yes, by all means did i actually recommend calling the man. then i don't quite know what happened to the rest of my day, i saw some kids, ate some lunch walking down the hall with a kid who was pulling on me so hard i was walking crooked, (i love my autistic kids), schmoozed with our cool new superintendent, once again making myself available if he decided to do anything visionary in our district....he smiled a lot at me, asked me about my job, listened to me rant about politicians who after they get elected act as if they or their families will be shot if they try to do anything to change the problems in society, so i had to defend my statement about the likely killings and note that some of their behavior changes so drastically from elections to actually working, that something drastic must happen behind closed doors. he agreed. asked me about my son, commented on my spunk and vigor. i told him he was doing a great job, and that i can appreciate the difficulty he has in our county. i spoke briefly of designing and implementing an autism task force type concept in our county, and then left it alone for him to chew on. he made a comment, 'is it just you and your son?' i said that his dad lived with us, but i don't wear a ring, then he said that he hadn't noticed the ring, but i exude a singularity and independence. i said i can see that. sometimes it bothers me but i don't know quite how to take that. i liked it though. or is that how i am taking it. anyways.
got out of work late, went home, let doberdog out, she hasn't been in the kennel since maggie passed. she stays out during the day and is doing just fine. no accidents or messes. i'm very proud of her. so ethan and i went back out for chinese take out, but as i was 'taking out,' a friend of mine from school called me and we met for dinner with the kids, she has 2, a fifth grader and a second grader. ethan and the younger one got along quite well...then ethan and i hit walmart to get mia a birthday present for her party tomorrow. by then i was spent, yet had to go to the grocery for milks and cream and ended up getting a 6 pack of yuengling. cheers.

another feast

Appetizer
Name a store or restaurant you no longer visit because of a bad experience you had there.
K-mart.
Soup
If you could own any building in existence, which one would you want?
Does that include the contents? if so, then likely a big fat bank. yes, i admit, i'd like to be filthy stinkin rich. (notice i didn't say federal reserve. well that's because it's not federal and there's no reserve, but that's an entirely different blog. )
i'd also like an ayurvedic spa. maybe a pyramid. but rationally, i'd love a nice farm. final answer.
Salad
What's your favorite commercial these days?
the vonage one because i love the music. also like some adventure cruise commercial because of the music. if anyone knows where i can get those songs, please let me know.
Main Course
When was the last time you felt guilty about spending money, and what was it you purchased?
I don't feel guilt about spending....
Dessert
Friday's Feast is going to be having it's First Birthday in 2 weeks.
What should we do to celebrate?
Change the name of the participants. "Feaster" is so gross.

work!!!

so ethan and i stayed home today. he was feverish when we woke up, and he's been under the weather this week, so i thought he would do well with a rest day. it's nearly 3pm and i haven't yet made it out of my jammies. i decided to update my website. i like it better, it's more cohesive, but still not quite what i want. i suppose i'll need to have actual clients to know what they want out of a website. it's cold here today and i am refusing to turn on the heat.
i am fiending for some pottery action. since going to the pottery festival this past weekend, i've been dreaming of some of that fabulous clay in my hands, sliding over my fingers. soon. very soon. i'll be back.

i think i'm late on this one....oops.

Appetizer/
Which keys do you have on your key chain?
my jeep, the 4Runner, classroom, school, house, possibly a file cabinet, not sure.

Soup
What is the most spontaneous thing you've ever done?
hmmm. kinda tough, i do a lot of spontaneous things. move to NC is probably a topper, getting married, (because we know that was NOT planned....well, not planned well.)
getting a jeep was kinda spontaneous

Salad
Who is the best cook in your family?
my grandma. hands down. ooh, i sure do miss her. she is in Niagara Falls with my mum. miss her too!

Main Course
If you were to write a "how-to" book, what would the title be?
How To Have Your Cake and Eat It Too

Dessert
Name a recent fad you've tried.
wearing capris, becoming interested in investing, getting an iPod, South Beach Diet (not hard core in any way....but i believe the method makes sense for the most part.)*i don't like the way that sounds, "for the most part" it sounds kind of stupid. oh well. i submit. hee hee.

internal competition

i am constantly trying to beat myself at something. cleaning, organizing, planning, just something. it makes my jaw hurt sometimes. looking at the blogs of others is another keeping up with the joneses for me. i wish i had the time and patience to make my blog pretty and full of pictures. i even looked at the hello thing and dl it but i did not have the patience to do it. yet. enter the internal competition i have with myself and whoever else is trying to control my brain.

back to work

although i didn't want to, i got up today and went to work. at least the jeep still has the top down. ethan and i froze happily on the way to school....he had his fleece on and i had mine, i wore my glovies but he chose to sport the nice yellow fleece blanket i have in the jeep. i washed my jeep yesterday and took great care on those dang faded fender flares. the 4runner has fender flares and they never fade, what is up with that? toyota has better plastic? seems so!!! but my jeep looks so sharp. all she needs is 34" tires and all the lift, and i'll be ready.

i am so impressed by many of my students. they all knew she was sick, and those that asked about her got the story, tears and all. i got a lot of hugs from my younger set, such a nice bit of love. i got to tell how maggie's energy will live on through the tree we planted by her burial site. maybe it will help these kids somewhere in life.

onward and upward, it's barely noon thirty.

my beloved girl, Maggie

maggie has died. she died at home, on the couch, after fighting the good fight as long as her body was able. watching her last breath was difficult, but seeing her without any struggle was peaceful. she has such a big piece of my heart, i am tearing up again just writing this. i got tears after opening the freezer and seeing the bags of veggies i bought for her, knowing they would not be nourishing her body.....
whether or not it is true, i feel that she had other issues that could have been resolved, when i took her to the vet friday, they said her lungs sounded ok and she would be ok, but they gave her a bronchiodilator anyways, to help her lungs....i still thing she had pneumonia as well, because she had wet, labored breathing, but the vet didn't hear it. well, my dog slept by me and i could hear it all night. despite her meds which helped i think at least a little, her body was ready to rest. God I miss her. She panted hard for her last hour, and couldn't swallow, she was dripping from her mouth. Her poor little body was not able to carry on, she took her last breath by my side. I miss her so much, my Maggie dog, with me for about 9 years. I miss my baby girl.