1st day of Kindergarten!

Oh, my, goodness. He is wearing a tie. Yep. Sunday at Crabtree Valley Mall, my son decided that he wanted to wear a tie for his first day of school. "I've never had a tie, Mom. " After a serious fit of laughter, i began melting...stage 1, mommy is soft all over and smiling ever so sweetly. Ok, he picks out the tie. Next was a shirt. "Mom, can I try it on in the dressing room?" Melting, stage 2, softer, dazed, and turning into jello. Following the success in the shirt department, he went on to find matching shorts, complete with his correct size. Stage 3 melt, mom is a gooblob on the floor, sobbing with motherly delight, revelling in the "Alex P. Keaton-ness" of her little boy. Knowing full well that it may not last, but, alas, has the potential should his spirit decide that it it's path. His outfit was complete. And he was happy.

He did very well, enjoyed his class, and ran to me once when he saw me in the media center, near my office. He remembered suddenly that he was not supposed to be out of line, so he corrected and ran back to his spot. Well, his agility and speed was entertaining and we all busted a chuckle, which led to his immediate embarrassment and small burst of tears. While ripping off his tie, he proclaimed that he was not moving, wanted to go home, and didn't want to go to music. I kissed him gently, stroked his ego, and told him he better catch up with class, I'll see him later. So I sported his tie on my nametag for a bit, and when I found him at lunch, (he flagged me across the full cafeteria) he requested his tie back, ate his lunch, and declared his love for me. I love being his Mom. I better take it while i can, because I hear such horror stories of pre-teens and teens. I'm planning on surprising him with some balloons on Friday, and perhaps a pizza dinner.

So, I took my laptop to BestBuy because of my memory crisis and talked to a geek. Told him I was out of memory and would like to know my options. He proceeded to insert his jump drive into my USB port, without even asking! Little did I know, he was performing a 'diagnostic,' which I did not want or need. 20 or so minutes later, i'm trying to get back to memory or new laptop topic, and just decide to wait. He tells me $59. I laugh. Hard. And he is serious. So I pay, but ask to see a manager. I told my tale and since I was not informed prior to the "service" of the fee, i got a refund. But holy cow, there was not "diagnostic fee" in the brochure or listed at the service desk anyways. So i felt justified, and the manager was professional. The geek was more of a drone with unchanging expressions and limited communication. Oh well. So i'm back to my memory problem. Thinking of some things. Anyhoo. That's what's going on.

Wishing I could lay on a blanket near some fresh cut grass, enjoying the autumn creeping in. Ethan and I were noticing some leaves starting to change color, and he is as excited as i about the fall festival of colors.

I desperately need a massage or something. Payday is upon me and i will just have to do it. Whenever i have an appontment, i don't feel as tense, as if the anticipation of the hands on helps. I wish i had hands on right now. I might lay on the floor with a dog treat on my neck so the dog will walk up my back. That's pretty desperate.'

Peace and love.

Symmetry etc.

I love the symmetry in his lego creations. My son has started playing with them recently, and I'm hoping he becomes addicted. I loved legos when i was 5 and i gave him what was left of my collection. He has since received a set or two, and he is playing with them a lot. Today I just oogled over his stuff and he wanted to share this with the world.

My beautiful son begins kindergarten in the morning. Neither of us are tired, either. Since when am I not ready for bed at 10? Well, I just spent time arranging his emergency packs of benadryl and epi-pens and making the list of foods he can and cannot have. Yeah, i'm sure glad to be where he is. Oh yeah. He is ready to go. Just wait and see his outfit. He picked out his 'first day of school' outfit, with absolutely NO influence from me. And I mean that. I had nothing to do with is idea, in fact, i almost tried to deter him from it. But it was so darn cute, i gave in.
You'll see tomorrow. He even wanted to 'try on' in the boys dressing room. Too funny, i was laughing and he was pleased. I on the other hand couldn't find cute pants to save my life. i am between sizes and it's not fun. so i look forward to shopping in a couple of weeks when i've dropped this little bit i've gained this summer.

Took a nice meditative bath. Relaxed with my head under the water, just enough to hear my heart beat.

Finally just finished the evening meal. I got some vegetable samosas from Whole Foods, they were much better than the onion pakoras i had. Spicy but too much something. maybe it's because i didn't have any raita. likely it.

Dreams, here i come.
Peace and love~!~

So, do you recognize this woman?
and what did she do to her hair? was it the 30 crisis? No way. I'm just up for a change. Haven't had my hair this dark since one fall day in Sept or October 1996....
Ethan likes it. It actually looks goth....jut a bit, because it's rather short....but not without it's sweetness of course!

School officially begins tomorrow. I am so excited!! I can't wait to see my kids. See how they have grown over the summer, grown teeth, lost teeth, started meds, got off meds......maybe vacationed past WalMart.....

so much compliance crap to deal with it seems. the local school level, the local board of education level, the local Exceptional Ed level, the state level, the federal level...sheesh. where's my level? exactly. does that mean i'm not level, per se? don't answer that please!

if there is anyone out there reading this and wish to answer, please let me know if you remember how teachers spoke to you in 2-5th grade, and if it made any kind of impact on you. for example, a teacher that was fussy or really nice, a good listener, picky, mean.....just curious.
i remember my teachers being strict but nice. there was a distance, almost a professional distance, but they would extend loving attention as needed. i went to private schools up until 6th grade. what a year that was!!!!

the happy massager

the infamous 'Happy Massager' that was kidnapped, possibly multiple times, in the dorm Steuben (Steuben mighty mighty Steuben...and it's like stuBEN, not Stoobin...k??) at the beautiful SUNY Geneseo. (it's Jen-uh-see-oh, not juh-NES-eo, k?)
Just in case anyone reading this is not from western NY........

so, Lora, i have proof that "Happy Massager" is well and good, and not without his smile.

it's not even 7am. i'm doing pretty well here. wet hair, skirt on, and a pacing doggie. she needs a snack.

blessings!

30!
Yay! Woo hoo! Thanks for all of the well wishes, i was actually quite surprised! Thank you very much.....
I am doing well. Other than the usual aches and pains of my shoulder and knee...nothing to blather on about.
Let's see, what's new or noteworthy to my mind. Hmmm.
-haven't been biting my fingernails
-started reading something fiction! that's amazing, eh?
-i feel relatively calm
-i get the house to myself until saturday!!! las vegas trip is early this year. yay!!!!

my friend came over and brought me a bottle of champagne. she's from niagara falls as well, so the friendship extends beyond most i have here in NC........she is so sweet, wouldn't let me celebrate alone. as tired as we both were, we managed to giggle and chat for almost an hour.
she is watching ethan for me M/T/W this week while i'm working....and i have another sitter for Th/F as ethan's school starts next M...a half day, and the other sitter will probably bring him home....I was informed today that on Mondays there will be staff meetings again, and kids need to be taken care of. so i'm in the process of getting something lined up for him on Mondays...that's not too bad. i will be on early morning duty every other week this year, instead of once in a blue moon like last year. that's ok, i get out 30 minutes earlier then, and i'm assigned to the K-1 area for kids that don't eat breakie at school. no prob. i'm the entertainment!

trying to see when i'm going home again. i miss my family. such a double edge that is...i love thinking about home, but when i get there, it's sad. the area is not as progressive or positive as others, and the gravity of thought is rampant. anyways.

my eyes are closing, i must sleep....

goodnight and peace!

lots of pressure

i got a very kick ass pressure washer this summer, (it's even yellow...)! and today, i will be doing the front of my house and the driveway, and my jeep. my front wheels are dirty, not from any kind of fun, but brake dust. i think i need new brakes.

can't wait to go shopping for new clothes. i really purged my closet this summer, and i actually need a few things. got some cute black cropped pants last night.....anyhoo.

hopefully this can be a nice easy saturday. i wish i was in the mountains. or the beach. i'd like a little vacation, just for a change of scenery. i have a friend i had dinner with wednesday, might go spend the weekend with her at the beach. her family has a house.

ethan is so excited about kindergarten. i got the teacher i requested for him, though not initially. there was a little oversight. it was corrected. i am glad.

time to wash the house!

Friday's Feast!

Appetizer
Do you get excited when the season begins to change? Which season do you most look forward to?
funny, i was just discussing this with a close friend of mine, the excitement when the season begins to change. yes, i get excited, especially from summer to autumn. i love how the cycle of life of many trees bestows immense beauty with it's seeming death....an ending so celebrated and comfortable with what is yet to come

Soup
What day of the week is usually your busiest?
monday, then saturday if i'm motivated

Salad
Would you consider yourself to be strict when it comes to grammar and spelling? What's an example of the worst error you've seen?
i like to think i'm strict, but i don't capitalize in blogs too often, or emails. the worst error i've seen, not sure of the worst, but i do not like to see or hear "these ones" or "those ones." gets me eyes crossed a trifle. i don't like when the 'i vs. me' is misused, but i can deal....i did see a website with the title, "committed today for a better tomorrow" i did laugh.....who are you and why were you committed? hee hee.

Main Course
Who has a birthday coming up, and what will you give them as a gift?
well. i have a birthday coming up, and yes, i will give a gift. not sure what yet, i have a good sized wish list.

Dessert
If you could have any new piece of clothing for free, what would you pick?
a new pair of organic cotton striped tights, yippee!!!!

Friday's Feast

he almost saw some really great sex

my sweet, innocent son. watching the matrix-reloaded....all of a sudden, whilst i'm typing away at my computer, i hear really hot drums....and i keep on typin, letting my mind get carried away, and then i realize, holy crap, it's matrix reloaded, neo and trinity, OHMYGOD!!! i ran and scooped him up and interrogated him about what he wanted for dinner....didn't see anything beyond the kiss.....boy was i glad to come out of my little daydream and shield him from that. i can just hear it, 'mommy, why were they hugging without any clothes?' oh, sheesh. that's a question i don't want to answer today.
and by great sex, i'm not alluding to the actual physical act between the two, but the amazing love they share.....i guess that isn't the worst he could see in that movie anyways.....hee hee. come to think of it, i think i'd rather him see that than 88% of what's in that anyways. duh again.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
first official workday at school. lots of folks there, i was on munchkin patrol as i let my friend's son hang in my room. he and ethan watched return of the jedi and played with lincoln logs, colored and raced cars...good stuff. this little boy will be in kindergarten also at our school.

i am in the process of purging every last manilla vanilla folder in the gray filing cabinet. last year i just purged a few. today i started on the second one from the top. to avoid any rigid, nonsensical rulemaking, i just didn't start at the top. the top is actually not too bad, mostly activities and stuff filed by sound or topic. the second drawer was a little mishmashier....

staring blankly, better go now...peace and love!

out of the comfort zone

i had an excellent session with my little friend in pittsboro this morning. he not once, but twice, emerged from his comfort zone and did some things he has not done before! during each previous session, four total before today, i would challenge his thought process and go against his expectations, all while playing, smiling,and having fun. a tiny sample of what i would do exactly consisted of:

1. putting the quarter sized plastic pieces from Barnyard Bingo between his toes. he went straight for the toes and pulled them out, while concentrating on the opening/closing of the compartment where you could get the pieces from the game....but today, he put pieces in with me and held up his foot and laughed and giggled and wanted me to do it 3 more times!!!!!!!!!! WOW!!!!

2. i put magnetic puzzle pieces in the wrong compartment....and he would become quite upset and fix things immediately.... but today he put the pieces in the wrong spots intentionally AND looked at me and giggled!!!!!!! put his hands up for two 'high fives,' and vocalized!

when i work with him, he and i are on the floor in his therapy room at home, hard wood floor, huge mirror, big bouncy therapy balls, tumbling mats, a trampoline....and the shelves are up high so as to encourage requesting....without any power struggles which result from the adult having 'control' of the item desired......but it was such a great day. then.....

dental appointment. ethan and i got cleanings. no problem. but my x-ray revealed an old filling that needed repair. so, i got the old drill and fill. ouch. and that drill sound...ugh. my skin is still crawling from it. but my pain is all gone, no problem. i thought i'd be in more pain....

and i found a new chinese restaurant that kicks ass. fresh and clean! great general tso's chicken. spicy and yummy!

tomorrow will be for housekeeping, final billing, and doing my toes. gotta have happy feet!

peace!!!

my classroom is ready!!!!

did i actually write classroom? yep. i did. it looks great. ethan and i spent a bit of friday and a lot of today fixing it up. i decided to stay at the school and work where ethan will be in kindergarten. on friday, i just had the realization that i'd be tossing what i wanted for a long time. i have been wanting to be where my son is for so long, and now that i finally had it, i was basically tossing it. that, and i feel that i belong there for some odd reason. i have got to stop running for things running so fast that i don't even see what i have. i'm silly. and really 'duh.'
i was so in the habit or lifestyle of temporary placements that i figured i must go somewhere new. well, i almost did, and i got so tired thinking of the driving and leaving my son......
anyways....i will entertain any questions if there are any.....

when i was young, i ate the cheapo noodle soups in a cup. they were so good. i had to eat the noodles at the right moment, before they got too mushy....while blowing on them because the boiling water was so hot.... well. i have rediscovered, as i do every year or two, the delish 'instant lunch' cup of soup......it's a nice salty snack, and i like the chicken flavor. the company even puts allergy warnings on the labels! how considerate! they even put a little line drawing of a chicken on the lid still, awwww. also, the cup has the caution/hot sign in spanish, but no spanish directions on how to prepare the soup. ah, maybe it was on the box part that i threw away...will check later. very important.

Friday's Feast

Appetizer
Did you sleep good last night?
nope. i slept well, thank you.

Soup
What is your current computer desktop image?
the one of my dog with the space helmet on her face....son giggling......

Salad
When was the last time you planted something, what was it and where did it go?
if we're talkin plants, then tomatoes in a container on my back porch. have picked 3 tomatoes so far, but they are small.... planting thoughts are a different story, and i don't know where all of those have gone....yet.....

Main Course
What's your favorite condiment?
i very much enjoy the cilantro chutney at Indian restaurants, it's more saucey than chutney, though, and it's spicy. great with rice.....not sure of the exact name of it right now...google it....

Dessert
Share a quote that you like, for whatever reason.

It takes courage to grow up and turn out to be who you really are.
e.e. cummings

feeling better

well, when i woke up, i still couldn't lay on my left side, the pain was still there. but it's about 4:30 and i can breathe ok, haven't felt any jabbing stabbing pain since this morning. i have been very careful about laughing and have not stretched so it can heal. it's healing. i freak out so easily. bad. i should remember that i have a choice about how i react/respond, and i should be more contemplative and take into consideration old ways and habits and try not to perpetuate the ones i don't like......or do i.

got a letter from school saying my resignation is effective at the end of the day sept.1st. so it looks like i'm working the beginning of the year. good. will have paycheck on 8/31. i don't like not having money. it sucks.

more later......

pain ouch man that hurts

i don't know exactly how i did it, but i did. i managed to pull a muscle in my rib area,left side. at least that's what i think it is. after i donated a bag of clothes this afternoon, i took a breath walking to my jeep and there was such a sharp pain. well, i've had that before, but it's still there. and it is bothering me greatly. i hope i feel better soon. i don't like pain.

and i let ethan (well, we both did it)play in a nice fountain in downtown sanford. i didn't have my camera this time, but will post a pic next time, it's such a nice little fountain to splash in!

got fingerprinted today for part of the background check for new job. they were nice but charged me five bucks. no prob, they did ethan's too! we had fun.

i got my driver license renewed today, and i noticed that there is no letter beside the 'race' part. eye and hair color were fine, but the little W did not appear after race like my previous license. should i go back and subject myself to that line, or do i chance anyone having a brain and the ability to deduce that yes, i am in fact caucasian......the picture is right there......hmmmm. anyways.

what else....i'm trying to find my motivation. being home more and not having a routine is not good for julee. or ethan. don't get me wrong, i love being at home more, but i do enjoy working and contributing to a team working for the good of others. i think i'm less moody when i'm working and on a schedule. kind of like a little kid. go figure.

peace and love......

i love jeeps

and it shows on my quiz. how nice and consistent.
i should be doing paperwork and fixing up some lessons for tomorrow's therapy sessions for my kiddos...but no. alas i am procrastinating through very dry contacts contemplating a bag of microwave popcorn just so i can get the half popped ones because they are so good and crunchy. yah, i'll do it.
i can't wait to get my new tires. yippee!!! soon, they will be my next little distraction. i will have nice big ugly tires. woo hoo!!!
possibly, it may all stem from the time when i was about 7, and my mom and i moved to tucson to meet back with my dad who took a business opportunity out there. we moved to this little apartment complex. i had cute short hair. i was dressed in a white ghostbusters tee shirt and navy shorts with navy sneakers. a kid on the playground asked me to my face if i was a boy or a girl. i softly replied, girl, and withered away. i'm 99.2% over that, but still. maybe that's why i like boy stuff. and boys. because if i look like one, then they gotta be ok, right? i also like the simplicity of many of the boys. they are not all simple, God knows, but so many are. and i like that and would like to be simpler myself.
this has gotten to be a little ranty. for that, i apologize. looks wrong to me with the z, so i tried an s, 'apologise.' that looks wronger. hey, that looks really bad. gosh, i'm delerious. wronger??? hee hee. the prospects of jacking up my jeep gets me all wiggly in the brain, and silly.
oh i could go on and on tonight, but i must get ready for tomorrow.
peace and love and 33" BFG AT/KOs to all........................

Just Pretend It's YELLOW baby!

Your Summer Ride is a Jeep

For you, summer is all about having no responsibilities. You prefer to hang with old friends - and make some new ones.

What's Your Summer Ride?

monday

what a day. nothing major. credentials for a hospital are a pain, but for an Army hospital, wow. talk about major background. have i ever _____? fill in anything, they want to know. i must admit, that yes, once, when i was 6, stuck my tongue out at a superior. and no, i did not submit to any punishment. what does that make me? you got it. i have always had problems with authority. i do expect to be treated fairly, and sometimes my def and the defs of others are not aligned. then there is a little conflict, typically because the other party does not want to bend their way of thinking, but fully expects for me to bend mine. i'll bend a little if you will. then usually everybody ends up winning. and feeling really great if the bending is in the proper places....hee hee hee. \_____*_____/ (< is the gutter my brain is in, pretty wide gutter if i do say so myself.....)
peace and more later....

very funny, made me laugh.

if this offends you, i'm sorry. don't be offended, it's not for anyone to take personally. in fact, nothing should be taken personally. but anyways, that's an entirely different blog!

read on:

Even God enjoys a good laugh!
There were 3 good arguments that Jesus was Black:
1. He called everyone "brother."
2. He liked Gospel.
3. He couldn't get a fair trial.

But then there were 3 equally good arguments that Jesus was Jewish:
1. He went into His Father's business.
2. He lived at home until he was 33.
3. He was sure his Mother was a virgin and his Mother was sure He was God.

But then there were 3 equally good arguments that Jesus was Italian:
1. He talked with his hands.
2. He had wine with His meals.
3. He used olive oil.

But then there were 3 equally good arguments that Jesus was a Californian:
1. He never cut his hair.
2. He walked around barefoot all the time..
3. He started a new religion.

But then there were 3 equally good arguments that Jesus was an American Indian:
1. He was one at peace with nature.
2. He ate a lot of fish.
3. He talked about the Great Spirit.

But then there were 3 equally good arguments that Jesus was Irish:
1. He never got married.
2. He was always telling stories.
3. He loved green pastures

But the most compelling evidence of all - 3 proofs that Jesus was a woman:
1. He fed a crowd at a moment's notice when there was no food.
2. He kept trying to get a message across to a bunch of men who just didn't get it.
3. And even when He was dead, He had to get up because there was work to do.

i got the job!!
yippee!