spinnin yarn

Well, here it is. My first finished practice piece. I bought a kids 'learn to knit' package at a book fair at my school. Those needles are fat! So was the yarn. I thoroughly enjoy knitting. I can even purl. And finish! I'm amazed that I had the patience to finish a whole ball of yarn. I realize now that i should have not cast on so many stitches. If i had just cast half of that, i'd have had a scarf i could wear. This is about the size of a wrap for a 9 month old baby. Maybe my friend here will let me adorn her daughter for a dinner out on the town. She just might! Tonight I stopped at a Michaels to buy more yarn. Also got lots more beading and jewelry supplies, this has turned into a major hobby/pasttime/meditation for me. I love love love making jewelry. I really love holding the beads, glass, and crystals and arranging them. Thinking about people as I make little bracelets or earrings.
Almost finished with the book, Songs of the Gorilla Nation, My journey through autism
by Dawn Prince-Hughes, Phd. It's a fascinating read to me. Too fascinating.

at least i got to fall in love this christmas

I met a creature that sent me over the moon in joyful love attacks. His name is Rudy, and he stole my heart with just one look. I tried to bring him home, but his family wouldn't let him go. I can't blame them, he's so friendly and just the right size. Cheerful and ready to participate at a moments notice. Whenever Rudy and I had a chance to sit together and enjoy each other's company, my Doberdog would get a little jealous, so she kept a very close eye on my behavior, to ensure her 'place.' If things looked too cozy between Rudy and me, she would remind me of her existence, usually by leaning on me while producing a complaint. A petpat and lipsmack would let her know she had nothing to worry about. Aside from watching my beloved son open some very cool gifts, Rudy was the highlight of my Christmas.

Happy Christmas

Happy Christmas to all!

Not much going on here.
Blessings to all,
Peace.

i cooked

last weekend, i went to a super wal mart to get some groceries and stuff. not my favorite place, but i was astounded at the bill. for what i spent, just over a hundred, i had so many fresh fruits and veggies. (normally i'd be balking at the pesticides, unfair business practices, pick your own social issue---but today, i'm choosing my battles and decided to get the conventional stuff from wal mart of all places. there. i can breathe now.)
so today i cooked up a storm.
i had purchased this large bag of pretty golden delicious apples, for snacks...etc. today i made a pie. my first real apple pie. with my first real homemade crust. it was delish. i won't scare you with a picture, as the pie was crude and i think my 5 year old could have done better, but it tasted yummylicious.
then i made some pumpkin cranberry scones from a mix i got a few weeks back, so good. not too much sugar. like it that way. then on to banana bread. finally eggplant parmesean. MAN. that was good. wow.
i love my cast iron cookware. food really cooks well in it, but i had to practice so as not to have everything stick. ya gotta know when the bottom is ready to be lifted. i didn't buy that feature, so i've been doing the trial and error version, mainly error. but EVOO (for all of you non-Rachel Ray viewers out there, that is extra virgin olive oil) heated remarkably well, quite smooth... and it was the most flavorful taste of olive oil i've had. musta been the bread crumbs. some brand i've never used.
steamed some broccoli, ate dinner. and pie.

i love cooking. i really do. it's rare a day that i'll ignore the bidding of my demons and actually do as i please. i even let ethan play playstation for over a hour. no shit!
then we watched Ice Age, the disney flick. twas nice. if you must sit through it, it's not awful.
i went to hallmark today. you know those music centers they have at the end of some aisles that you can sample the music by pushing the cd picture...??? i bought 3. one for my girlfriend for Christmas, and 2 for me. one is this awesome french cafe music, called Springtime in Paris. the other is Zen. i must check iTunes to see if i can just get it there.

blessings be!

feel like traveling

ever just feel like going someplace? i'm getting that itch. i feel like driving up and down the coast of california. just for kicks. kind of random. i know. just feel like it.

what happened?

a day or so ago, i looked at my digital clock in my bedroom. it showed- 9 30.
that period after 30 meant that it was pm. good. then i set my alarms.
so then it looked like this: :9 30.
ok. no biggie, right?
but I SWEAR for the last however many years i've had the darn thing, there was a : between the hour and minute. now there is not.
upon detailed inspection involving different kinds of illumination, i did notice the : ghost there.
but why is it no longer functioning?

the clock works fine. i unplugged it and plugged it back in. still no :

aye aye aye. gotta get a new clock.

thursday

i attended a pretty good lecture today on Asperger's Syndrome. it is so fascinating to me, i love it, and that's why i have my career focused on it and autism spectrum disorders.
it was in winston-salem, nc, and i spend the night at the hawthorne inn, where the class was.
the drive was fine, had a co-worker with me. i think she had a good time, sometimes i felt as if she didn't want to be there.

i need a massage. can't wait to get one soon.

happy thanksgiving a day late

and so it goes, another year to think of, reflect upon, and decide what to be thankful for. thanks for reading this piss poor blog. i don't update it often. used to. not sure what happened there. bored i guess. so i have to decide on the rest of my life. this week/month it's been career ideas. i want to do so many things, i'm trying to narrow it down to less than 5.

-go back to school and get PhD-autism spectrum disorders focus (looking at U of Buffalo and U of Pittsburgh as well as UNC)

-go back to school and get EdD (not sure where)

-try to get a position at TEACCH in the mountains, then maybe back to school

-keep my business and really get it to where it could be, therapy focus

-keep my business and divide the focus on therapy and consulting
(schools/daycares/families trying to decide on what route to take therapeutically)

-keep the business and turn it into a school, possibly a charter school

-stay where i am and pretend to like it

-move to some random place (like i did to NC....) and start it all over

-move home near Niagara Falls, perhaps start business there or get position as SLP in a specialized program already up and running

-become professional muse (i think i'd be good at that, or so i've been told)

-start raising beagles and open an art/music/animal therapy center somewhere in the mountains or western NY

-go back to Dariy Queen

Any ideas from anyone will be considered. as long as they are not mean.

i hope everyone's thanksgiving day was all it could be, full of happiness, peace, and great ideas.

xo

a pic or two

Here I am while babysitting my friend's daughter. I have her in my "over-the-shoulder-baby-holder" and loving every minute of it. Isn't she adorable???






This is my doberdog with some suicide prevention. Nah, she had some injuries to her heel pads, they got scraped somehow. I don't know, I wasn't there. She can get those bandages off in about 3 minutes if i'm not watching. silly girl. I love how she sits.











And here is my son, black power ranger, for halloween. We don't watch the show, but i let him get the outfit. We shopped and looked at catalogs for weeks negotiating pros and cons of each costume, and he wanted this. so when it came in the mail a few weeks ago, i let him wear it. he put that thing on daily after school and played for hours. not violent either. i don't like to delay gratification all the time. what's the sense. he'll wear it much more i'm sure, like he does his other hero suits!

an actual unretouched post

as i sit here contemplating what the hell to write, i realize that it's been one heck of a long time since i've actually written something to read. i've become quite good at quizzes, friday's feasts, and the like. just dipping toes in depth of personality, but not getting to the meat. or tofu. or aduki beans, whatever the hell you like. maybe i like to think i like revealing myself, but i really don't. maybe i think that i'm interesting, but i'm really not. not trying to invite comments here, really. i am just as interesting as the next girl or fella, i know. but anyways.

maybe i don't know what to write. maybe i am thinking too much of what someone might want to read. maybe not. i've never felt so torn in all my life as i have in the past year and a half. i used to be a split second decision maker. move to nc, check. have the baby, check. go to grad school, check. all the biggies were made quickly. now, i have a biggie to make and i feel so stuck, because i'm not thinking of me, but of others. since when is it supposed to be disabling to consider the wants/needs/emotions of others? or is it a complete misinterpretation of what i might be considering? no. i've asked. i know the conditions. (screaming and tantruming, on the inside-of course!)

i just tried to post a pic or two from the memory stick, but it won't appear on my computer. time to fix it. grrr.

things are otherwise going well. went home this past weekend, had a fabulous time with an amazing person. spent quality time and ate spicy as hell thai. no negatives that i can think of.

ready for those mountains. they are callin!

cool ass little website, doo-dah, doo-dah

cool place to get some birthday info!

friday's feast

FRIDAY'S FEAST!!!

Appetizer
Do you button shirts top-to-bottom or bottom-to-top?
top to bottom, unless i mess up, then, i'll bottom up

Soup
What is your favorite sandwich?
tomato and mozzarella

Salad
What was a family project you helped work on as a child?
painting my grandparent's house, green!

Main Course
When have you acted phony?
once or twice i've been kind of standoffish to a person if i like them a lot. just once or twice, usually i throw myself at people...like a fricken idiot.

Dessert
Do you write letters or postcards? If so, to whom?
yes. to people i love. girlfriends mainly. i also write letters to my son, for him to open when he's all grown up, wondering what was going on in his mommy's head when he was a little boy....to help him make sense of things possibly....he might not give a darn though....

much more fun

the Ham (42% dark, 53% spontaneous, 31% vulgar)

your humor style: CLEAN | SPONTANEOUS | LIGHT Your style's goofy, innocent and feel-good. Perfect for parties and for the dads who chaperone them. You can actually get away with corny jokes, and I bet your sense of humor is a guilty pleasure for your friends. People of your type are often the most approachable and popular people in their circle. Your simple & silly good-naturedness is immediately recognizable, and it sets you apart in this sarcastic world. PEOPLE LIKE YOU: Will Ferrell - Will Smith The 3-Variable Funny Test! - it rules - If you're interested, try my latest: The Terrorism Test

My test tracked 3 variables How you compared to other people your age and gender: You scored higher than 23% on darkness You scored higher than 71% on spontaneity You scored higher than 38% on vulgarity

Link: The 3 Variable Funny Test written by jason_bateman on OkCupid Free Online Dating, home of the 32-Type Dating Test

a little on the silly side...

More Emotional You have: 70% SCIENTIFIC INTUITION and 77% EMOTIONAL INTUITION

The graph on the right represents your place in Intuition 2-Space. As you can see, you scored well above average on emotional intuition and above average on scientific intuition.Your emotional intuition is stronger than your scientific intuition. Your Emotional Intuition score is a measure of how well you understand people, especially their unspoken needs and sympathies. A high score score usually indicates social grace and persuasiveness. A low score usually means you're good at Quake. Your Scientific Intuition score tells you how in tune you are with the world around you; how well you understand your physical and intellectual environment. People with high scores here are apt to succeed in business and, of course, the sciences. Try my other test! The 3 Variable Funny Test It rules.

My test tracked 2 variables How you compared to other people your age and gender: You scored higher than 56% on Scientific You scored higher than 82% on Interpersonal

Link: The 2-Variable Intuition Test written by jason_bateman on OkCupid Free Online Dating, home of the 32-Type Dating Test

Friday's Feast

Appetizer
Name 3 qualities that are important to you in friendship.
the ability to be silly, the ability to be serious, and honesty
Soup
If you could dream about anything tonight, what would the subject matter be?
hot sex please
Salad
Do you usually make an effort to personally thank people who do favors for you?
yep
Main Course
If you had to go out of town for an extended period of time, who would you trust to take care of your home and belongings?
obvious
Dessert
How do you react to practical jokes when they're played on you?
not well, i'm afraid..i'm way too analytical and would seriously begin to doubt my senses

well, that was fun....not.

not sure about this one

You Are 60% Boyish and 40% Girlish

You are pretty evenly split down the middle - a total eunuch. Okay, kidding about the eunuch part. But you do get along with both sexes. You reject traditional gender roles. However, you don't actively fight them. You're just you. You don't try to be what people expect you to be.

How Boyish or Girlish Are You?

i didn't think this was right

You Are Chinese Food

Exotic yet ordinary. People think they've had enough of you, but they're back for more in an hour.

What Kind of Food Are You?

Friday's Feast

it's been a while since i've done one of these, i like them and want to remember to do more...well, on friday's anyways....
Friday's Feast

Appetizer
When was the last time you visited a hospital?
when i interviewed at Womack Army Medical Center and got a job. But didn't take it. Well, I took it but then gave it back.

Soup
On a scale of 1 to 10 with 10 being highest, how ambitious are you?
154

Salad
Make a sentence using the letters of a body part. (Example: (mouth) My other ukelele tings healthily.) i got carried away, i love this.
feet -Find elation everyday, twice!
toes -Truth owns eternal serendipity.
legs -Love each gentleman separately. (or guy if you want the /g/ sound right)
tummy -Ten underwater monsters made yogurt.
breasts -Before removing eleven anteaters, spray their snouts.
arms- Asking reveals mistakes seen.
hands- How are northerners down south?
fingers- Finally, I now get empathy regarding sex.
neck -Now each child knows.
face -Fancy argyle clergy erasers.....(for the clergy mistakes.....hee hee)
eyes- Ethan's young eyes see.
nose- Never obligate someone else.
tongue- Tempers obliterate nice gestures unless eradicated.
hair -Horses are interesting rides.

Main Course
If you were to start a club, what would the subject matter be, and what would you name it?
Today i think i'd like a dinner and massage club. Rubs & grub.

Dessert
What color is the carpet/flooring in your home?
carpet is a light sage-y green, bathrooms are white ceramic tile, kitchen is beech laminate.

Resting tonight.
xo

what book i am

i saw this on my friend's blog. liked it. haven't read this book. not sure what emotional fortitude is. busy lately. xoxo.

You're Anne of Green Gables!

by L.M. Montgomery

Bright, chipper, vivid, but with the emotional fortitude of cottage
cheese, you make quite an impression on everyone you meet. You're impulsive, rash,
honest, and probably don't have a great relationship with your parents. People hurt
your feelings constantly, but your brazen honestly doesn't exactly treat others with
kid gloves. Ultimately, though, you win the hearts and minds of everyone that matters.
You spell your name with an E and you want everyone to know about it.


Take the Book Quiz
at the Blue Pyramid.

Sweet Day

What a sweet day. Got to watch my friend's daughter, and she is so cool! I made "name that pancake" and set up the little table in the kitchen. We played with scissors and glue and crayons most of the day. She cut and colored with Ethan, I reorgainzed many of my kitchen cabinets and drawers. Helps me find sense and order in this world sometimes. I am so tired, muscles crying. I got some of those thermal sticker patch things and i have one across my shoulders. It feels good and until I thought about it, my shoulders felt better than they have in weeks. Massage time, (i know i keep saying that, grrr.) Asheville is callin so softly.........

No beagles at this shop we went to, they were all sold out. Had a border collie and a golden retriever. Nice pups, no snuggles though. I pet the rabbits, drooled and creeped out over a python, and held hands with a lemur. Those little guys are sweet, i'd love to have one someday. Ethan held a baby hamster, I wanted it but they were still to be with the mama. Didn't have turtles that I saw, would have liked one or two.

Autism Awareness car magnets $5. Wanna buy one or three? Please? Email me!!! I have more bracelets too, if you're interested! Email me!!!

Took my dog for a walk, beautiful day, started pouring! What luck as I hid for a moment under a tree, crouched down to look at stuff, and found this great caterpilllar. I hope she likes the little habitat I made for her. She was on the ground in a very vulnerable spot, and I know there could have been a reason for that, but I had to show Ethan. He and I love that stuff. More tomorrow. My eyes are closing and my typing is getting really bad, the delete key now has a dent in it.... hee hee. Peace and love......

Almost the weekend

Man, it's been a week. Not complaining, just feels like i've been shaken, and not pleasantly. I just finished making another round of pretty bracelets for the Leadership Retreat at Camp Royall in Pittsboro tomorrow night. I won't be attending Saturday's festivities as I will be babysitting my friend's precious angel.

The body is tired, feeling rather in need of a hot jacuzzi, a glass of something tasty, and nice music.

Goodnight!

Scheduling

The woes of scheduling. Not my favorite activity. My school has 'protected blocks' of reading time in the morning, so it's not generally a good time to pull kids out for services. No problem, I have offered inclusion services to 'support the general curriculum' which is essentially the foundation of my service model. It's a slow sale for some teachers, but the ones that have welcomed me are going to be happiest. Their kiddos will be in their least restrictive environment and make more gains since life pretty much happens in the classroom. I also spend time where kids are less focused, like the lunchroom or the hallway when they are in the bathroom line. I can't walk 10 feet down a hall past kids and not get a few hugs. I love it. Makes me happy that even the kids who aren't officially my students want to be!

If I don't get a massage soon, I fear I will break. Even sleeping on my lovely mattress, I wake up all tense and stuff. I must consciously tell my muscles to relax. I got a nice little email from a place I once visited in Asheville, and I think it's callin me back. Oh yes, it is.
I'd love to do a juice fast and partake in some yoga and decompression. I need a teacher or someone to share this path with. Quite seriously. I need some lovin.

Listening to groovy jazz right now on the cable music channel, and the man was singing, "listen to your heart and what it's sayin." What's your heart saying?
Mine is saying, let me love you as you are. Some folks don't let themselves or want to be loved. My heart whispers, i love the you that cannot be seen.

And my body sneaks in the comment, please get under the covers and relax....envision the desired result.

Peace and love!

Worthy of a separate blog

I found a property i am interested in, blogging the pictures HERE!!!

It's been a day. Woke up glad to be here, excited about seeing kids and being
the fun teacher at school. Roughish weekend all around.
Coldplay was ok, not impressed. Lead singer had a cold, poor guy. The audience was talked into singing Happy Birthday to a guy in the band, i thought that was very sweet. They did a good tribute to Johnny Cash, that was a good moment, Ring of Fire....
Clocks was good, that's when we left. No problem with traffic. There were maybe 3 songs after that, so not much was missed. Anything to avoid that massive major traffic, I could hardly breathe in the traffic on the way in. It was backed up for at least an hour. Thank God my top was down.

School has been ok, scheduling sucks. I will be at a different elementary school on Mondays for about 8 weeks once this chicka has her baby. Another therapist will do another day. It's on the other side of town, so it will be an experience. New people, new faces. Cool.

I have an odd cold. I feel ok during the day, but the morning and night my nose is stuffed so bad and my ears feel like they are going to pop inside. Ow. Maybe it's because the Afrin wore off, i don't know. I shot that up at 6:30am, and it's a 12 hour shot, but i just now started feeling crappy.
Oh well, this tea is helping me and i will be asleep soon.

Blessings....

stuff we do

this is what we've been doing after school, after homework. isn't it great? today there was a beautiful orange butterfly, looked like THIS. She was amazing, and i went for the camera but she had to go. then she came back for a hello, i didn't get the picture, i didn't have the camera by then. i was so taken by the beauty and clarity of the spots, pure beauty greeted us as we came home today, ethan was so excited to see her, "A new butterfly mom, hurry!" The other day we had a blue and purple one visit. So many this year, more than I ever remember.

Peace and love!

a little updating

so i updated the look a bit, added a link or four...

oh, i ordered some incredible socks. i am so going to be rushing home to see if i got the package....stripes and longsocks galore! ....at least Norah is still singin to me................................

blessings to YOU!!!

thanks

i've been in a thankful mood lately. really paying attention to the things for which i am grateful.
the past few minutes i've been feeling thankful for my fingers. how nicely they ease my day. making it cake to wash my hair, fix my son breakfast, feel the beauty of the day while my top is down on my jeep. the fingers and palms have so many great nerve endings, the day does not feel the same on the feet or elbows or legs. different, but not the same. to me at least. feeling the keys beneath my fingers right now, it's nice to be able to type most words without looking at the keys. i am so glad i took keyboarding in high school, thanks mrs. koudounis!

while being thankful for hands and fingers, i'm led to the thought of touching someone. how i miss giving massages and running my fingers through the hair of another while driving....even if i don't give great massages, i still like to think that if anyone was on the receiving end of my touch they would feel love and energy.

i like to be still enough to feel my pulse through my fingertips, not while touching anything....

peace

peacefulness

Today was nice, got some reading done, ate some good Indian food, Alu Gobi to be exact, my favorite...shopped a bit at Southern Season....bought some nice new java...lemon pesto, fresh mozzarella, olive oil crackers, rice crackers, and a pecan cluster. yum. it was soo good. chocolate will have to satisfy me for now....sigh.

looking forward to seeing Coldplay on Saturday...got tix for my b-day.

desperate for a massage. i need to pick up the damn phone...

this week will hopefully be calm and peaceful....i'm thinking of a better meditation.

glad to be me

i like being me. through the bumps and bruises, i am glad to be who i am. looking forward to who i will be. that being said, i even like who i was. going through my spare room, reorganizing and stuff, i sought out my old photo albums. started at college, felt the ache of years gone by, friends out of touch, wondering if Dom and Holly are still around.....old sweethearts, missing the moments i couldn't wait to pass at the time....to get where? here, i guess....but this grass is green too, just a different shade. i don't want to go back, but i'd like to smell the smells, taste the tastes, feel the people again. i miss Geneseo....sigh, deep breath, longer sigh........

it's nice to remember.

Kissing

All right. This stems from the fact that I don't kiss. Instead I wish I had someone to kiss. Not like a peck goodnight, but a nice, long, "making out" kind of kissing that is simple and thirst provoking. So in my missing of kissing, I started to wonder who the first couple was to actually decide that they wanted to put their lips together and mush them around, put their tongues into each other's mouth, and enjoy it. This had to be in the time before toothpaste, toothbrushes, and the like. I agreed with a friend of mine when she said that people probably chewed mint leaves or something. Yes, i had the nerve to actually spout this out with another person, and I trust her implicitly. But why does good kissing make ya wanna do *other* things? I have not googled this or even done any research, I just think it's amazing that kissing is what it is, and that it is so nice. When done properly, anyways.
Missing kissing, that is what i am doing today, besides rearranging furniture and playing with Ethan.

A book i finished, "Soulmate" by Deepak Chopra, had a line in it that has really reminded me of how to be a nicer person. "Every soul wants to be seen." I have even said it at school when some teachers are miffed about a child's behavior. I got looked at funny, but the kid wanted to be considered, seen, heard, understood, and LOVED dammit. Why is that so hard for some people? Then I realized, they too want to be seen. So i took the time to see them, and the air changed. What power there is in looking beyond the body and attitude. I love it.

Without agenda, without a plan, I have a desire,
Keeping true to the truth, and......
then the phone rings.....

more soon....

just fluff

This is a really neat spider I found outside, and according to my National Audubon Society Field Guide to the Southeastern States, it is a "Crab-Like Spiny Orb Weaver," which is really cool. No danger listed. It smiles! We relocated the Weaver to a location less likely to facilitate entrance into my house.

Ethan had a great first week at school. He has taught the kids to pick up bugs and be gentle with them, and not to be afraid. He is so cool.

Here he is waiting for his teacher with a few classmates, he's happy that they are interested in bugs like he is.

So I went shopping last Sunday at Crabtree Valley Mall.

I buy some nice jackets at the Gap, with a very nice gift card from my amazing friend here in Sanford.

I go to don one of these jackets on Monday, can't find them. Search the car, no bag. I left it at the mall. Called Ann Taylor, for sure that's where they were, that's the last dressing room I vistited. Nope, no bag. They even called me back in the late afternoon. Nice lady. Then I called Belk, not really thinking it would be there since I didn't go in a dressing room or buy anything. Sure enough, my bag was found, and my jackets were safe. Can you believe it? I never thought I'd get them back, someone was honest and I am so thankful. So my dear friend whom I simply adore happens to live near this mall, and he very kindly brought my jackets to me yesterday. Thanks a bunch! I owe you one! Well, two actually, since there were two jackets....but anyways. This dear friend of mine and I have been out of touch until recently, and I'm so glad to be reconnected.

Katrina. My blessings are being counted, I will never stop counting. Send healing thoughts, offer something, you know where to go for that.

I'm having trouble with my website. I am saving changes in the program but the changes are not being reflected in the publishing. I'm taking a break on that so I don't start getting upset with technology. But, GRRRRR! I WISH IT WOULD FLIPPING WORK THE WAY IT"S MEANT TO!!!!! ahhh, thanks for the vent space. much better.

more soon, so much to say today.

1st day of Kindergarten!

Oh, my, goodness. He is wearing a tie. Yep. Sunday at Crabtree Valley Mall, my son decided that he wanted to wear a tie for his first day of school. "I've never had a tie, Mom. " After a serious fit of laughter, i began melting...stage 1, mommy is soft all over and smiling ever so sweetly. Ok, he picks out the tie. Next was a shirt. "Mom, can I try it on in the dressing room?" Melting, stage 2, softer, dazed, and turning into jello. Following the success in the shirt department, he went on to find matching shorts, complete with his correct size. Stage 3 melt, mom is a gooblob on the floor, sobbing with motherly delight, revelling in the "Alex P. Keaton-ness" of her little boy. Knowing full well that it may not last, but, alas, has the potential should his spirit decide that it it's path. His outfit was complete. And he was happy.

He did very well, enjoyed his class, and ran to me once when he saw me in the media center, near my office. He remembered suddenly that he was not supposed to be out of line, so he corrected and ran back to his spot. Well, his agility and speed was entertaining and we all busted a chuckle, which led to his immediate embarrassment and small burst of tears. While ripping off his tie, he proclaimed that he was not moving, wanted to go home, and didn't want to go to music. I kissed him gently, stroked his ego, and told him he better catch up with class, I'll see him later. So I sported his tie on my nametag for a bit, and when I found him at lunch, (he flagged me across the full cafeteria) he requested his tie back, ate his lunch, and declared his love for me. I love being his Mom. I better take it while i can, because I hear such horror stories of pre-teens and teens. I'm planning on surprising him with some balloons on Friday, and perhaps a pizza dinner.

So, I took my laptop to BestBuy because of my memory crisis and talked to a geek. Told him I was out of memory and would like to know my options. He proceeded to insert his jump drive into my USB port, without even asking! Little did I know, he was performing a 'diagnostic,' which I did not want or need. 20 or so minutes later, i'm trying to get back to memory or new laptop topic, and just decide to wait. He tells me $59. I laugh. Hard. And he is serious. So I pay, but ask to see a manager. I told my tale and since I was not informed prior to the "service" of the fee, i got a refund. But holy cow, there was not "diagnostic fee" in the brochure or listed at the service desk anyways. So i felt justified, and the manager was professional. The geek was more of a drone with unchanging expressions and limited communication. Oh well. So i'm back to my memory problem. Thinking of some things. Anyhoo. That's what's going on.

Wishing I could lay on a blanket near some fresh cut grass, enjoying the autumn creeping in. Ethan and I were noticing some leaves starting to change color, and he is as excited as i about the fall festival of colors.

I desperately need a massage or something. Payday is upon me and i will just have to do it. Whenever i have an appontment, i don't feel as tense, as if the anticipation of the hands on helps. I wish i had hands on right now. I might lay on the floor with a dog treat on my neck so the dog will walk up my back. That's pretty desperate.'

Peace and love.

Symmetry etc.

I love the symmetry in his lego creations. My son has started playing with them recently, and I'm hoping he becomes addicted. I loved legos when i was 5 and i gave him what was left of my collection. He has since received a set or two, and he is playing with them a lot. Today I just oogled over his stuff and he wanted to share this with the world.

My beautiful son begins kindergarten in the morning. Neither of us are tired, either. Since when am I not ready for bed at 10? Well, I just spent time arranging his emergency packs of benadryl and epi-pens and making the list of foods he can and cannot have. Yeah, i'm sure glad to be where he is. Oh yeah. He is ready to go. Just wait and see his outfit. He picked out his 'first day of school' outfit, with absolutely NO influence from me. And I mean that. I had nothing to do with is idea, in fact, i almost tried to deter him from it. But it was so darn cute, i gave in.
You'll see tomorrow. He even wanted to 'try on' in the boys dressing room. Too funny, i was laughing and he was pleased. I on the other hand couldn't find cute pants to save my life. i am between sizes and it's not fun. so i look forward to shopping in a couple of weeks when i've dropped this little bit i've gained this summer.

Took a nice meditative bath. Relaxed with my head under the water, just enough to hear my heart beat.

Finally just finished the evening meal. I got some vegetable samosas from Whole Foods, they were much better than the onion pakoras i had. Spicy but too much something. maybe it's because i didn't have any raita. likely it.

Dreams, here i come.
Peace and love~!~

So, do you recognize this woman?
and what did she do to her hair? was it the 30 crisis? No way. I'm just up for a change. Haven't had my hair this dark since one fall day in Sept or October 1996....
Ethan likes it. It actually looks goth....jut a bit, because it's rather short....but not without it's sweetness of course!

School officially begins tomorrow. I am so excited!! I can't wait to see my kids. See how they have grown over the summer, grown teeth, lost teeth, started meds, got off meds......maybe vacationed past WalMart.....

so much compliance crap to deal with it seems. the local school level, the local board of education level, the local Exceptional Ed level, the state level, the federal level...sheesh. where's my level? exactly. does that mean i'm not level, per se? don't answer that please!

if there is anyone out there reading this and wish to answer, please let me know if you remember how teachers spoke to you in 2-5th grade, and if it made any kind of impact on you. for example, a teacher that was fussy or really nice, a good listener, picky, mean.....just curious.
i remember my teachers being strict but nice. there was a distance, almost a professional distance, but they would extend loving attention as needed. i went to private schools up until 6th grade. what a year that was!!!!

the happy massager

the infamous 'Happy Massager' that was kidnapped, possibly multiple times, in the dorm Steuben (Steuben mighty mighty Steuben...and it's like stuBEN, not Stoobin...k??) at the beautiful SUNY Geneseo. (it's Jen-uh-see-oh, not juh-NES-eo, k?)
Just in case anyone reading this is not from western NY........

so, Lora, i have proof that "Happy Massager" is well and good, and not without his smile.

it's not even 7am. i'm doing pretty well here. wet hair, skirt on, and a pacing doggie. she needs a snack.

blessings!

30!
Yay! Woo hoo! Thanks for all of the well wishes, i was actually quite surprised! Thank you very much.....
I am doing well. Other than the usual aches and pains of my shoulder and knee...nothing to blather on about.
Let's see, what's new or noteworthy to my mind. Hmmm.
-haven't been biting my fingernails
-started reading something fiction! that's amazing, eh?
-i feel relatively calm
-i get the house to myself until saturday!!! las vegas trip is early this year. yay!!!!

my friend came over and brought me a bottle of champagne. she's from niagara falls as well, so the friendship extends beyond most i have here in NC........she is so sweet, wouldn't let me celebrate alone. as tired as we both were, we managed to giggle and chat for almost an hour.
she is watching ethan for me M/T/W this week while i'm working....and i have another sitter for Th/F as ethan's school starts next M...a half day, and the other sitter will probably bring him home....I was informed today that on Mondays there will be staff meetings again, and kids need to be taken care of. so i'm in the process of getting something lined up for him on Mondays...that's not too bad. i will be on early morning duty every other week this year, instead of once in a blue moon like last year. that's ok, i get out 30 minutes earlier then, and i'm assigned to the K-1 area for kids that don't eat breakie at school. no prob. i'm the entertainment!

trying to see when i'm going home again. i miss my family. such a double edge that is...i love thinking about home, but when i get there, it's sad. the area is not as progressive or positive as others, and the gravity of thought is rampant. anyways.

my eyes are closing, i must sleep....

goodnight and peace!

lots of pressure

i got a very kick ass pressure washer this summer, (it's even yellow...)! and today, i will be doing the front of my house and the driveway, and my jeep. my front wheels are dirty, not from any kind of fun, but brake dust. i think i need new brakes.

can't wait to go shopping for new clothes. i really purged my closet this summer, and i actually need a few things. got some cute black cropped pants last night.....anyhoo.

hopefully this can be a nice easy saturday. i wish i was in the mountains. or the beach. i'd like a little vacation, just for a change of scenery. i have a friend i had dinner with wednesday, might go spend the weekend with her at the beach. her family has a house.

ethan is so excited about kindergarten. i got the teacher i requested for him, though not initially. there was a little oversight. it was corrected. i am glad.

time to wash the house!

Friday's Feast!

Appetizer
Do you get excited when the season begins to change? Which season do you most look forward to?
funny, i was just discussing this with a close friend of mine, the excitement when the season begins to change. yes, i get excited, especially from summer to autumn. i love how the cycle of life of many trees bestows immense beauty with it's seeming death....an ending so celebrated and comfortable with what is yet to come

Soup
What day of the week is usually your busiest?
monday, then saturday if i'm motivated

Salad
Would you consider yourself to be strict when it comes to grammar and spelling? What's an example of the worst error you've seen?
i like to think i'm strict, but i don't capitalize in blogs too often, or emails. the worst error i've seen, not sure of the worst, but i do not like to see or hear "these ones" or "those ones." gets me eyes crossed a trifle. i don't like when the 'i vs. me' is misused, but i can deal....i did see a website with the title, "committed today for a better tomorrow" i did laugh.....who are you and why were you committed? hee hee.

Main Course
Who has a birthday coming up, and what will you give them as a gift?
well. i have a birthday coming up, and yes, i will give a gift. not sure what yet, i have a good sized wish list.

Dessert
If you could have any new piece of clothing for free, what would you pick?
a new pair of organic cotton striped tights, yippee!!!!

Friday's Feast

he almost saw some really great sex

my sweet, innocent son. watching the matrix-reloaded....all of a sudden, whilst i'm typing away at my computer, i hear really hot drums....and i keep on typin, letting my mind get carried away, and then i realize, holy crap, it's matrix reloaded, neo and trinity, OHMYGOD!!! i ran and scooped him up and interrogated him about what he wanted for dinner....didn't see anything beyond the kiss.....boy was i glad to come out of my little daydream and shield him from that. i can just hear it, 'mommy, why were they hugging without any clothes?' oh, sheesh. that's a question i don't want to answer today.
and by great sex, i'm not alluding to the actual physical act between the two, but the amazing love they share.....i guess that isn't the worst he could see in that movie anyways.....hee hee. come to think of it, i think i'd rather him see that than 88% of what's in that anyways. duh again.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
first official workday at school. lots of folks there, i was on munchkin patrol as i let my friend's son hang in my room. he and ethan watched return of the jedi and played with lincoln logs, colored and raced cars...good stuff. this little boy will be in kindergarten also at our school.

i am in the process of purging every last manilla vanilla folder in the gray filing cabinet. last year i just purged a few. today i started on the second one from the top. to avoid any rigid, nonsensical rulemaking, i just didn't start at the top. the top is actually not too bad, mostly activities and stuff filed by sound or topic. the second drawer was a little mishmashier....

staring blankly, better go now...peace and love!

out of the comfort zone

i had an excellent session with my little friend in pittsboro this morning. he not once, but twice, emerged from his comfort zone and did some things he has not done before! during each previous session, four total before today, i would challenge his thought process and go against his expectations, all while playing, smiling,and having fun. a tiny sample of what i would do exactly consisted of:

1. putting the quarter sized plastic pieces from Barnyard Bingo between his toes. he went straight for the toes and pulled them out, while concentrating on the opening/closing of the compartment where you could get the pieces from the game....but today, he put pieces in with me and held up his foot and laughed and giggled and wanted me to do it 3 more times!!!!!!!!!! WOW!!!!

2. i put magnetic puzzle pieces in the wrong compartment....and he would become quite upset and fix things immediately.... but today he put the pieces in the wrong spots intentionally AND looked at me and giggled!!!!!!! put his hands up for two 'high fives,' and vocalized!

when i work with him, he and i are on the floor in his therapy room at home, hard wood floor, huge mirror, big bouncy therapy balls, tumbling mats, a trampoline....and the shelves are up high so as to encourage requesting....without any power struggles which result from the adult having 'control' of the item desired......but it was such a great day. then.....

dental appointment. ethan and i got cleanings. no problem. but my x-ray revealed an old filling that needed repair. so, i got the old drill and fill. ouch. and that drill sound...ugh. my skin is still crawling from it. but my pain is all gone, no problem. i thought i'd be in more pain....

and i found a new chinese restaurant that kicks ass. fresh and clean! great general tso's chicken. spicy and yummy!

tomorrow will be for housekeeping, final billing, and doing my toes. gotta have happy feet!

peace!!!

my classroom is ready!!!!

did i actually write classroom? yep. i did. it looks great. ethan and i spent a bit of friday and a lot of today fixing it up. i decided to stay at the school and work where ethan will be in kindergarten. on friday, i just had the realization that i'd be tossing what i wanted for a long time. i have been wanting to be where my son is for so long, and now that i finally had it, i was basically tossing it. that, and i feel that i belong there for some odd reason. i have got to stop running for things running so fast that i don't even see what i have. i'm silly. and really 'duh.'
i was so in the habit or lifestyle of temporary placements that i figured i must go somewhere new. well, i almost did, and i got so tired thinking of the driving and leaving my son......
anyways....i will entertain any questions if there are any.....

when i was young, i ate the cheapo noodle soups in a cup. they were so good. i had to eat the noodles at the right moment, before they got too mushy....while blowing on them because the boiling water was so hot.... well. i have rediscovered, as i do every year or two, the delish 'instant lunch' cup of soup......it's a nice salty snack, and i like the chicken flavor. the company even puts allergy warnings on the labels! how considerate! they even put a little line drawing of a chicken on the lid still, awwww. also, the cup has the caution/hot sign in spanish, but no spanish directions on how to prepare the soup. ah, maybe it was on the box part that i threw away...will check later. very important.

Friday's Feast

Appetizer
Did you sleep good last night?
nope. i slept well, thank you.

Soup
What is your current computer desktop image?
the one of my dog with the space helmet on her face....son giggling......

Salad
When was the last time you planted something, what was it and where did it go?
if we're talkin plants, then tomatoes in a container on my back porch. have picked 3 tomatoes so far, but they are small.... planting thoughts are a different story, and i don't know where all of those have gone....yet.....

Main Course
What's your favorite condiment?
i very much enjoy the cilantro chutney at Indian restaurants, it's more saucey than chutney, though, and it's spicy. great with rice.....not sure of the exact name of it right now...google it....

Dessert
Share a quote that you like, for whatever reason.

It takes courage to grow up and turn out to be who you really are.
e.e. cummings

feeling better

well, when i woke up, i still couldn't lay on my left side, the pain was still there. but it's about 4:30 and i can breathe ok, haven't felt any jabbing stabbing pain since this morning. i have been very careful about laughing and have not stretched so it can heal. it's healing. i freak out so easily. bad. i should remember that i have a choice about how i react/respond, and i should be more contemplative and take into consideration old ways and habits and try not to perpetuate the ones i don't like......or do i.

got a letter from school saying my resignation is effective at the end of the day sept.1st. so it looks like i'm working the beginning of the year. good. will have paycheck on 8/31. i don't like not having money. it sucks.

more later......

pain ouch man that hurts

i don't know exactly how i did it, but i did. i managed to pull a muscle in my rib area,left side. at least that's what i think it is. after i donated a bag of clothes this afternoon, i took a breath walking to my jeep and there was such a sharp pain. well, i've had that before, but it's still there. and it is bothering me greatly. i hope i feel better soon. i don't like pain.

and i let ethan (well, we both did it)play in a nice fountain in downtown sanford. i didn't have my camera this time, but will post a pic next time, it's such a nice little fountain to splash in!

got fingerprinted today for part of the background check for new job. they were nice but charged me five bucks. no prob, they did ethan's too! we had fun.

i got my driver license renewed today, and i noticed that there is no letter beside the 'race' part. eye and hair color were fine, but the little W did not appear after race like my previous license. should i go back and subject myself to that line, or do i chance anyone having a brain and the ability to deduce that yes, i am in fact caucasian......the picture is right there......hmmmm. anyways.

what else....i'm trying to find my motivation. being home more and not having a routine is not good for julee. or ethan. don't get me wrong, i love being at home more, but i do enjoy working and contributing to a team working for the good of others. i think i'm less moody when i'm working and on a schedule. kind of like a little kid. go figure.

peace and love......

i love jeeps

and it shows on my quiz. how nice and consistent.
i should be doing paperwork and fixing up some lessons for tomorrow's therapy sessions for my kiddos...but no. alas i am procrastinating through very dry contacts contemplating a bag of microwave popcorn just so i can get the half popped ones because they are so good and crunchy. yah, i'll do it.
i can't wait to get my new tires. yippee!!! soon, they will be my next little distraction. i will have nice big ugly tires. woo hoo!!!
possibly, it may all stem from the time when i was about 7, and my mom and i moved to tucson to meet back with my dad who took a business opportunity out there. we moved to this little apartment complex. i had cute short hair. i was dressed in a white ghostbusters tee shirt and navy shorts with navy sneakers. a kid on the playground asked me to my face if i was a boy or a girl. i softly replied, girl, and withered away. i'm 99.2% over that, but still. maybe that's why i like boy stuff. and boys. because if i look like one, then they gotta be ok, right? i also like the simplicity of many of the boys. they are not all simple, God knows, but so many are. and i like that and would like to be simpler myself.
this has gotten to be a little ranty. for that, i apologize. looks wrong to me with the z, so i tried an s, 'apologise.' that looks wronger. hey, that looks really bad. gosh, i'm delerious. wronger??? hee hee. the prospects of jacking up my jeep gets me all wiggly in the brain, and silly.
oh i could go on and on tonight, but i must get ready for tomorrow.
peace and love and 33" BFG AT/KOs to all........................

Just Pretend It's YELLOW baby!

Your Summer Ride is a Jeep

For you, summer is all about having no responsibilities. You prefer to hang with old friends - and make some new ones.

What's Your Summer Ride?

monday

what a day. nothing major. credentials for a hospital are a pain, but for an Army hospital, wow. talk about major background. have i ever _____? fill in anything, they want to know. i must admit, that yes, once, when i was 6, stuck my tongue out at a superior. and no, i did not submit to any punishment. what does that make me? you got it. i have always had problems with authority. i do expect to be treated fairly, and sometimes my def and the defs of others are not aligned. then there is a little conflict, typically because the other party does not want to bend their way of thinking, but fully expects for me to bend mine. i'll bend a little if you will. then usually everybody ends up winning. and feeling really great if the bending is in the proper places....hee hee hee. \_____*_____/ (< is the gutter my brain is in, pretty wide gutter if i do say so myself.....)
peace and more later....

very funny, made me laugh.

if this offends you, i'm sorry. don't be offended, it's not for anyone to take personally. in fact, nothing should be taken personally. but anyways, that's an entirely different blog!

read on:

Even God enjoys a good laugh!
There were 3 good arguments that Jesus was Black:
1. He called everyone "brother."
2. He liked Gospel.
3. He couldn't get a fair trial.

But then there were 3 equally good arguments that Jesus was Jewish:
1. He went into His Father's business.
2. He lived at home until he was 33.
3. He was sure his Mother was a virgin and his Mother was sure He was God.

But then there were 3 equally good arguments that Jesus was Italian:
1. He talked with his hands.
2. He had wine with His meals.
3. He used olive oil.

But then there were 3 equally good arguments that Jesus was a Californian:
1. He never cut his hair.
2. He walked around barefoot all the time..
3. He started a new religion.

But then there were 3 equally good arguments that Jesus was an American Indian:
1. He was one at peace with nature.
2. He ate a lot of fish.
3. He talked about the Great Spirit.

But then there were 3 equally good arguments that Jesus was Irish:
1. He never got married.
2. He was always telling stories.
3. He loved green pastures

But the most compelling evidence of all - 3 proofs that Jesus was a woman:
1. He fed a crowd at a moment's notice when there was no food.
2. He kept trying to get a message across to a bunch of men who just didn't get it.
3. And even when He was dead, He had to get up because there was work to do.

i got the job!!
yippee!

ethan

he liked the 'floating noggin' pic the best.

that boy. he posed up last night and said, 'mom, get your camera, take my picture!'
so i did.

I GOT PAID!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
finally. the system decided that i was perhaps worthy of a little compensation. whew. i am so broke, and to receive this check made me feel so good. i can make that car payment and stuff. just wanted to share something happy for a change.
peace and love.

she called

the lady from ft. bragg's early intervention at the hospital called. i went to see her friday. i spent close to 3 hours at the hospital, Womack Army Medical Center. It was awesome. Now, I must figure out how to do this. I want this job. I need to figure out how to deal with ethan being in kindergarten and working thirty minutes away. i'm looking at private schools in the area. maybe he can go to school closer to me. if i get the job. i'm so excited. so many things to think about.
maybe i'll join the army. basic training would be the best therapy i'll bet. get my ass kicked so i know how good i have it. hee hee.

SpaceDober

What a sense of humor. She loves making us laugh.
Check out that lip. It's my dog being a sexy space dog. She said, 'cha cha cha.'
Dober, the space dog. Doesn't she look perfectly comfy?
This 'hat' is part of a spaceshuttle costume that Ethan has, and often I apply things to my dog just so i can giggle till it hurts. She is so expressive, and she really does a great job humoring me.
Thanks DoberDog. I mean, Captain DoberDog.

it was good

to get back to work. up at 6. made it to my first appointment on time. that feels so
good. deciding that i don't like providing services in a houseful of kids. saggy diapers, screamin
babies, DIRTY FEET. well, i guess the dirty feet thing is ok, if they WASH eventually.
caught up on paperwork, hoping that the lady from Bragg calls.
patience. that's what i determined in a dream last week. thursday i had a dream that i delivered a baby. friday night i had a dream that i was analyzing thursdays dream and that if i dreamt of delivering a baby, then i needed to practice patience. was cool to think of a previous night's dream in a dream.

watched Snow Dogs on disney. this was a great movie, ethan and i watched it togther tonight. i managed to cry. sheesh. pretty feel good movie, cuba gooding jr was the star. he was funny.

do i have some decaf? or tea. hmm. want something warm, despite the 100 temps here today.

peace.

up and down and sideways and more!

so many moods in one day can be hazardous. ended up drinking a double shot espresso thing that starbucks makes. it helped for a while. then i funked out again. why is it that when i consciously try to stop beating myself up i seem to do it more and harder? when people think i'm doing well is when i hide this about myself, but when i express what's going on in my head all of a sudden i'm depressed or not happy or something. it's true. when i keep my thoughts to myself, i do better. when i talk about them or vent or something, they are more real all of a sudden and more poisonous. then i read this post and think i am absolutely ridiculous. who wants to be around that? i don't even want to be around that. now i want to scream.
waaaaaaaaah.
better. thanks.

the company that handles contracts for Ft. Bragg's early intervention hasn't called me back. i suppose that has added to my feelings of unworthiness. i was so excited about making the decision to check out that possibility. maybe the lady is on vacation. maybe she will call tomorrow.

the caffeine is wearing off and i need to prepare therapy for my kiddos tomorrow.

i hope i get paid soon. being broke sucks. especially when i've been working.

peace and love.

two-wheelin it

my boy. he can ride his bike without training wheels. aww. didn't grab the camera. will another time. he's so cute on his bike, not always using those brakes, you know, the kind where you 'back pedal' to stop. no, he often just extends his legs down and toe stops. which is adorable yet uncomfortable looking. nevertheless, he stops. despite coaching from mom, he looks at me with those eyes that tell me that he will get it in his time, and that i will be ok.

peace.

friday's feast

Appetizer
What kind of car do you drive?
If you could make an even trade for any
other car, what would you want to drive?
I drive a yellow 2000 Jeep Wrangler. I love her. Even trade would be for the same thing all jacked up.

Soup
Take your phone number and add each number together separately (example: 8+6+7+5+3+0+9=38) - what's the total?
house, 31
cell, 27
with area code, 50 and 46.

Salad
When were you last outside, and what were you doing?
about an hour ago, hobbling into the house from my jeep, trying not to bleed all over...

Main Course
What is your favorite restaurant, and what do you usually order there?
I will always love Michaels, in Niagara Falls. Usually, I get a salad with the curly mozzarella and house dressing, a bowl of beans and greens, and chicken parmesan with homemade macaroni. yums.

Dessert
Name 3 things in which you occasionally indulge.
my first inclination was to write, making love, massages, and souldancing, but i thought that perhaps that's not what the question was getting at. so i will add:
pedicures, a cleaning person, and expensive makeup.

Friday's Feast

friday far from bland

it all started when i jumped out of bed, knowing that the bug man was coming (because of Nathanial, the nice rep that stopped by my house wednesday evening, telling of the recent 'surge' of calls in my area, and prevention is easier than cure....gobble gobble gobble.....)
at 9:30, well, that's what we made the appointment for....so, i shower quickly and get all the trash and recycling ready, because i didn't do it yesterday as i was still on the mend from this cold i succumbed to....so i leave the house with wet hair and ethan helps me get the newspapers into the jeep. i stick an old table in and then trip over nothing and cut the back of my foot on glass which was in a bag for recycling. ok, cut is not the word, gash is more like it. small but effective in the bleeding department. about the size of a good sunflower seed, in the shell, with about the same depth. read, bloody mess. ok, into the house i drip, tape it up with some gauze. go to take trash. good. home. not too bloody.

get messages, of course, because i left the house for 15 minutes and didn't take cellphone or purse. duh. (and i was wearing little shorty shorts and a little shirty shirt and of COURSE someone actually approches me about my sign on my jeep indicating my services for autism, i mean, come on. the day i jet out with wet hair, sans business cards, looking slightly teen, someone actually talks to me about business. sheeeesh!!! )

sooooooo, the message was that dude was not going to come until noon. damn. still bloody. vacuum and do kitchen floors. good. he comes, he's odd, he leaves. still bleeding, more now because i actually tried to change the dressing, and the good coagulater that i am, i invited the gauze to stick into my flesh. OUch! took care of that again, elevated the foot. the cut is on the back bottom of my leg, you can see it if i'm standing flat, it's about an inch up from my heel.

i foolishly decide to have a beer and give myself a pedicure. soak feet, file toes, oops, i'm fricking bleeding again. finish beer, (i know it's a blood thinner....but i'm stupid ya see?) get another, lay down and elevate foot again. toes look pretty.

on to the road to Southern Pines to take the boy to Friday Fun Gym, a nice treat from the Sandhills Academy of Gymnastics, they open their gym to the public Friday nights and supervise kids as they try out gymnastics, rock climbing, and foam-pit jumping. well, gotta eat first, chinese buffet, not great for me. ooh, track back, on the way to SoPines....traffic in the northbound lanes is blocked for a mile or two because lightning struck a tree and it totally blocked both lanes. nobody hurt as far as i could see. hmmmm...after chinese, go to eckerd to buy more gauze as i am still bleeding....and crash, crack, flash, boom. lotsa lightning and thunder, and ethan's with his dad in the bathroom, power is out. luckily i purchased my gauze. ha. now they lock the doors because the power is out, and man was that storm intense. major lightning and loud ass thunder, a good storm. changed the boo boo gauze and bled thru that in 5 minutes.
no Fun Gym tonight, but ethan was ok with it. sweet.
finally got back in the jeep, wrapped it up tight and so far haven't bled through it. it's 9:15pm and i wrapped it at least an hour and a half ago. so no more poking or jumping or walking on it and i hope it will be fine. it hurts.

dare i get into the psycho-philosophical meanderings my mind has taken today? nah. i'll spare ya.
i will grab the feast though. fun!!!

thanks BCJ......this was awfully cute

You're Canada!

People make fun of you a lot, but they're stupid because you've
got a much better life than they do. In fact, they're probably just jealous.
You believe in crazy things like human rights and health care and not
dying in the streets, and you end up securing these rights for yourself and
others. If it weren't for your weird affection for ice hockey, you'd be
the perfect person.
Take
the Country Quiz at the Blue Pyramid

funny little bit here, treally. and, uh, i, uh, do not have any affection for ice hockey. just so ya know.

my creative little boy

ethan's lovely snack, it's a flower.

He raided my fridge, smeared cinnamon applesauce on a plate, carefully arranged carrot slices on the edge, and gently centered a strawberry. What a sweetie. He just told me that if i ever want that snack ever again, i can have it. Lovely.
And yes, he did make it to the bathroom on time. Grabby!
more later.....

a little hello

what a lovely trip home. i was pretty hormonal the entire time, unfortunately. compound this with what i call 'gravity of thought' of the niagara falls region, and it makes yours truly some pretty shabby company. niagara falls has so much potential, but widespread apathy and considerable 'that's just the way it is' mindsets nearly blocks all attempts for renewal. the seneca nation has taken matters into it's own hands and built a casino and now a luxury hotel on the US side of Niagara. slight progress is evident despite the criticism of profiting off of gambling and drinking and contributing to social problems...and the fact that the casino cash isn't in the right hands in the niagara falls local government....yet. i might be wrong, in fact, i likely am. anyhoo.

considering major change in work again. same profession, different location possibly. will likely interview at ft. bragg for a slp job with the 0-3 population that i love so much.
depends on the flexibility of hours and ethan's school and stuff. i'm excited about it, very interested in that population. maybe it will be a match.

that was spawned by the two notices i got in the mail about the vacancy. that and denials from medicaid which was a result of my provider number being inactive. they activated it right away and i resubmitted claims, but oh yes, i was a little upset considering that i didn't have any communication that my number was inactive. when i made my calls and had billing training to start this whole process, i asked if i was good to go and indeed i was. NOT. oh well. so be it. things will work out as they always do. so i got my hair done, highlights and a little chop. feel better.

had a pretty bad cold yesterday and today i'm riding the rest of it out, had been fighting it for weeks, so finally i just let myself get the daggon thing. that had something to do with my sluggishness in NF. i couldn't get it together there. was tired all the time and downright blah.

time to nap. snuggle with my boy.

my dog

she is a knowing little girl. she is staring at me as if to tell me that she will miss me. i'm going to NY with Ethan. YAY! Home!
i will miss my pup.

friday's feast!

Appetizer
Where do you plan to go on vacation this year, or where would you want to go?
My son and I are going to niagara falls on july 6th, returning to NC on the 16th.
Soup
What color is your bedroom? If you could redecorate it, what would you change?
Walls are latte, furniture / embellishments in pier one's old rio grande collection, and deep red / burgundy tapestry and down comforter, latte sheets/bedskirt, latte and cream textured panels. Redecorating? Ooooh, fun. would likely change wall color to something a touch darker, and add a jacuzzi.
Salad
Do you have a bumper sticker on your vehicle? What does it say?
oh one of my hobbies. i have a few bumper stickers.
-grow slow
-listen to children
-eternal now (with the infinity symbol)
-not fooled by the media
-not fooled by the government
-a happy face
and my personal fave,
-talk nerdy to me
hee hee hee.
Main Course
What's the worst pain you've ever been in?
physical? post-sinus surgery/tattoo/birthing
emotional?moving to NC on a whim, getting so overwhelmed with the abominable task of never appearing overwhelmed, and enduring new allergies and steroids and weight gain and eventually surgey....all without any blood relatives. that and being married and not wanting to be married.
Dessert
Who is your favorite celebrity? What do they do that inspires you?
i can't think. oh, maybe hugh grant, he makes me laugh, just looking at him makes me laugh. i also like, ummm, drawing a blank here. i so don't follow hollywood. if i think of anyone, i'll be sure to post.

Friday's Feast Rocks!

quizzin

well, last night i took quizzes. that was fun. nothing like leaving somebody elses criteria tell about me. anyway....they all fit to some degree. i did like the kissing one. i think i've forgotten how to kiss, however. i think if i got in a situation, i'd giggle and perhaps excuse myself to take a pee or something...but i really don't know if i remember.
i just want to turn off the world for a bit and be with someone.

sunday morning. woke up later than usual...it's after 8. i was laying in bed trying to conjure up a dream/daydream and send thoughts to someone.
will likely work today, doing finalizing and streamlining of my processes.....outlining the steps from referral to consultation, then evaluation to therapy.

drinking coffee from my nice Geneseo mug,
deciding to not use artificial sweeteners anymore, along with commercial cleaning products. i feel this strong desire to detox again, so once the splenda and clorox run out, i'll be back to sugar/stevia and vinegar/bakingsoda.
maybe that's what i'll do today, use up all the poison and go to the recycling center.

i do recycle. i do feel good about that. that's one thing i picked up in college. maybe before college, but it really 'learned into me' in those years.

more later, feeling chatty today.
peace and love!

am i getting carried away? no. just bored.

Your Birthdate: August 22

While sometimes employing unorthodox approaches, you are capable of handling large scale undertakings. You assume great responsibility and work long and hard toward completion. Often, especially in the early part of life, there is rigidity or stubbornness, and a tendency to repress feelings. Idealistic, you work for the greater good with a good deal of inner strength and charisma. An extremely capable organizer, but likely to paint with broad strokes rather than detail. You are very aware and intuitive. You are subject to a good deal of nervous tension.

What Does Your Birth Date Mean?