Monday, March 14, 2005

dreary beautiful morning

clouds and fog. not too cold, no coat. sweater and scarf.
read a lot of blogs last night, glad to know i'm not the only one out there with an overactive mind. i knew that anyways, but still, it's refreshing to see some evidence.
i would like to know something that i already don't know. i keep getting snippets and blurbs from people telling me things i already know. i am in the market for learning something i don't already know or have skills at.
i know that i should keep my chin up, keep my focus, energy blah blah.
i know i should be happy, and I AM HAPPY. i am just not so content with the state of my happiness. there are degrees. i love life, the little things, the big things, the problems, the questions, the lack of answers, the need for trust and faith. that's all good. i suppose i'm just looking for something that is not available. i know God and all and we chat a lot, maybe i'm just hitting a wall with all of the relationships i have.
it's simply a sign to stop? end? i don't feel like i'm creating a wall. i feel quite open. this is the point where my coping resources seem to essentially fail me. high expectations, vast dreams, darn idealism. oh well.
guess i'll go read some more blogs. immerse myself in the joys and thoughts of others.

xoxo

No comments: